Whose role is it anyway?

A Pocket Full of Miracles -- An Encore Presentation

2011-11-26T15:00:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

EXT. MACY'S DEPARTMENT STORE. MANHATTAN - DAY

On a brisk December day, hurrying holiday SHOPPERS rush in and out of Macy's. Near its entrance stands a MAN CALLING OUT to anyone who will listen.

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle here!

PASSERSBY look upon him queerly as he continues to chant.

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle here!

Adjusting his iPod, a TEENAGER stops in curiosity.

TEENAGER
How much?

MAN
It's free.

TEENAGER
(sarcastically)
Nothing's free.

Then walks away. Untethered,

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle!

A young COUPLE stops and exchanges glances.

WOMAN
What kind of miracles?

MAN
You name it.

WOMAN
My boyfriend and I want to get married but
we can't afford a ring.

As her boyfriend tugs at her arm, the man searches for and pulls from his pocket a brilliant engagement ring. He hands it to the woman who excitedly shows it to her boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND
How much does it cost?

MAN
Nothing.

BOYFRIEND
It's a fake. Let's go.

As they walk away, the woman gleans the ring then smiles at the man appreciatively.

A hunched OLD MAN steps out of the crowds and faces the miracle man.

OLD MAN
I bet you don't have anything in your pocket for me.

MIRACLE MAN
Try me.

OLD MAN
I remember when I was twenty. I was as strong
as Hercules. Played lots of sports too.

The miracle man listens patiently.

OLD MAN
My wife was my biggest fan. We were high school
sweethearts.

Not saying a word, the man begins walking; the old man in step beside him.

OLD MAN
We were married over fifty years.
(quietly)
She died last year.

MIRACLE MAN
I'm very sorry.

As they continue to walk together,

OLD MAN
I live around the corner. Would you join me
for dinner?

MIRACLE MAN
I'd be honored.

FADE TO BLACK

written by "petra michelle"

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com

THE TELEPHONE NUMBER - An Encore Presentation

2010-09-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM. APARTMENT - NIGHT

MIKE frantically fingers the contents of his wallet.

MIKE
Where is that business card?

He holds his wallet upside down, watching the waterfall of its contents cascade to his unmade bed.

MIKE
It was blue.

For the next half hour he inspects each item, discarding the unnecessary. Still, no blue business card. Despondent, he falls onto his bed; the loss of the card summing up his chaotic life.

MIKE
Think, Mike. Think.

He closes his eyes and concentrates. The first three numbers lept before him as he'd studied her telephone number countless times. But the last four...as a child repeats the alphabet to reach an elusive letter, so he tried with numbers.

MIKE
One, two, three... Three!

Scrambling for a notepad, he proceeds until seven digits stared back at him; the telephone number he could swear he'd had all along. His digital clock blares eleven o'clock.

MIKE
It's pretty late.
(pumping himself)
It's now or never!

As he dials, he visualizes the tall, slender blonde in her slinky, red dress, flirting over a martini.

MIKE
But I'm not in her league.

While the phone rings, he reminds himself that he wasn't half bad looking, and women even commented on how his glasses made him look just as adorable as Clark Kent.

MIKE
Just as clumsy, too.

A woman answers the phone.

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN)
Hello?

MIKE
Hello? Danielle?

DANIELLE (OS)
Yes?

MIKE
Um. This is Mike. You may not remember...

DANIELLE (OS)
(surprised)
I didn't think you'd ever call, Mike.

MIKE
(spirits soaring)
Would you like to go out for dinner?
You would? I mean, Saturday? Seven thirty?
Sure, I know where it is. Terrific! See you
then. Good night, Danielle.

He dances victoriously around the bedroom, then collapses onto his bed, soon falling asleep.

SEVERAL DAYS LATER

Mike rushes haphazardly, changing his Hanes underwear at least a dozen times. He would be late if he didn't step up his already frenetic pace.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Mike follows the maitre d' who escorts him to a cozy table in the dimly lit corner at which sits a lovely, bespectacled young woman.

DANIELLE
(adjusting her glasses)
Mike?

MIKE
(mimics her)
Danielle?

While the excitement and anticipation hisses from his ego, Danielle grins.

DANIELLE
Seems there's been a little mistake.

Her embracing smile emphasizes her gentleness and sweet face.

DANIELLE
It doesn't mean we can't make the best of it.
What do you think?

MIKE
(grins sheepishly)
Sure.

After ordering, then pouring the wine, he slowly shares what had happened. Danielle's LAUGHTER, both comforting and lilting, eases his self-consciousness. The hours fly by. When they realize they're the last couple in the restaurant, they exchange warm glances.

MIKE
I'd love to see you again.

DANIELLE
I would too, Mike, but under one condition.

MIKE
What's that?

DANIELLE
(holding his hands)
You give me your telephone number.

MIKE
(chuckles)
Agreed.

INT./EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

As they walk into the brisk, autumn night, DANIELLE's tresses bounce in sync with Mike's newfound spring in his step.

MIKE
Am I glad I lost that business card!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

FATHER OF THE BRIDE - An encore presentation

2010-06-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:

Robert DeNiro as Albie (50%)
Tie between Myrna Loy & Meryl Streep as Mary (33%)
Tie between Kate Hudson & Emily Blunt as Christine (33%)
Matthew McConaughey as Rob (33%)

Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. HOME OFFICE - DAY

A MIDDLE-AGED MAN is on the telephone gleaning a sheet of paper.

MAN
(irate)
Hold on just a second.

He gathers up another sheet of paper.

MAN
(increasingly ired)
I'll call you back.
(bellows)
Mary!

His WIFE rushes in.

MARY
What is it? What's wrong, Albie?

ALBIE
What's this?

MARY
It's the bill for the flowers.

ALBIE
Five thousand dollars? And this?

MARY
The Photographer.

ALBIE
That's it! One more week of this and we'll be
in the poor house!

MARY
Stop exaggerating.

Albie collects the invoices, rises, then paces.

ALBIE
I can understand a ten thousand dollar wedding
gown. But a coach? Why can't she have a limousine
like every other bride? Who do I look like? Walt Disney?

A young WOMAN rushes into the office CRYING.

WOMAN
There you are, mother.

MARY
What is it, Christine?

CHRISTINE
(sobs)
We...broke...up.

MARY
What happened?

CHRISTINE
He wants to elope. Can you believe it?

ALBIE
It's cheaper.

CHRISTINE
Father!

Mary glares at him as she guides Christine to a chair.

ALBIE
Let me remind you, young lady, that your mother and
I eloped. Look how happily married we are.

CHRISTINE
(between sobs)
You did, didn't you? It is romantic, isn't it?

ROB rushes in.

ROB
Christine, listen to me.

CHRISTINE
I have nothing to say. If you knew better, I
never want to see you again.

Albie skulks out of the office, then rushes through the house into the yard.

EXT. YARD - DAY

As he approaches the GARDENER,

ALBIE
Grab the ladder and place it at THAT window.
Then bring the car around.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Albie returns to find Rob kneeling before Christine.

ROB
I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy.

Albie notices the ladder swaying to and fro at the window.

ALBIE
Look. A ladder.

MARY
What's it doing there?

Albie grins coyly as he walks seductively towards his wife.

ALBIE
Don't you remember?
(embraces her)
How about we renew our vows.

MARY
(giggling)
Don't be silly, Albie.

Entranced, Christine watches on as Albie extends his arm, Mary wrapping hers around it. She holds Rob's hands.

CHRISTINE
If it was good enough for my parents, it's
good enough for me.

MARY
What?

CHRISTINE
Right now. The four of us.

ALBIE
Why not.

LAUGHING, they crawl through the window and step carefully onto the ladder.
From the garden,

GARDENER
Where are the suitcases?

MARY
And money!

The four step up the ladder and crawl back into the office. All rush out but Albie who sits at his desk, reflecting. Upon their return,

MARY
(excitedly)
I packed for you, dear.

Albie rises.

ALBIE
Rob, a happy wife is a happy life.
Remember that.
(steps to Christine)
My angel, I won't put a price on your
happiness. You have your wedding
with all the bells and whistles. You'll
make me the proudest father in the world.

CHRISTINE
(hugs and kisses Albie)
Daddy, you're the best!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE ACLINIC LINE - An encore presentation

2010-05-14T09:02:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
JAKE EASTMAN -- Harrison Ford (40%)
ANNE -- Sigourney Weaver (60%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

MONTAGE:

Fed by sewage dumping into the ocean off the east coast of the United States, THE ACLINIC NETWORK of ducts and mini-islands expands towards the Statue of Liberty, Atlantic City, and Disney World.

Simultaneously, sewage dumping off the coasts of Europe and Asia causes the Aclinic Network to expand towards the Eiffel Tower, London Bridge, Venice, and Hong Kong, China, and Japan.

INT. TELEVISION BROADCASTING STUDIO - NIGHT

Last minute changes are made to accommodate DR. JAKE EASTMAN, a noted and respected Geophysicist, accompanied by his wife, ANNE, a Marine Biologist.

ANNE
But Jake, aren't we risking panic?

JAKE
We've got to try.

The Engineer signals to the News Anchor.

ANCHOR
We interrupt our regular broadcast for a
special communication from Dr. Jake Eastman.

The Engineer signals to Jake.

JAKE
I've been working with my wife and dozens of
colleagues in uncovering the planet-threatening
Aclinic Line.
(beat)
Its heart, the Aclinic Island, is violently tremoring.
We must stop major dumping and polluting to
prevent possible eruption.
(pauses)
The ramifications of its eruption would be devastating
to life as we know it. I urge everyone to do whatever
possible. Thank you.

EXT. ACLINIC ISLAND - DAY

RUMBLINGS grow deafening and steady.

INT. WEATHER MODIFICATION CENTER - DAY

Meeting with its director,

JAKE
My colleague has produced a biodegradable
solution which can dissolve the Aclinic Line.
We need your help in administering it globally.

DR. SANTOS
Although cloud seeding has been around since
the forties, there are no guarantees, Dr. Eastman.

JAKE
It's our only hope in ridding the network.

DR. SANTOS
(ponders)
We can use jets to drop the solution into the clouds.
Hopefully, this will encourage precipitation of the
solution to fall onto the targeted areas.

JAKE
We'll start immediately.

EXT. SKY - NIGHT

Jets fly overhead, cloud seeding the solution over the network worldwide.

EXT. ACLINIC ISLAND - NIGHT

As a convoy approaches the island, ooze spews relentlessly, the island shrinking
exponentially. Jake SHRIEKS his jeep to a sudden stop, flooding threatening the convoy.

As he notes nearby trees, he grabs hold of a low branch and climbs.

JAKE
Follow me!

The rest of the convoy join him, some falling into the ooze. Suddenly, precipitation causes a dense fog. Nothing, nor anyone, can be seen.

JAKE (O.S.)
Is everyone all right?

COLLEAGUE
My clothes are disappearing.

JAKE (O.S.)
The solution will dissolve all
man-made chemicals. I warned
you to wear cotton.

When the fog lifts,

INT. CHOPPER - NIGHT

CO-PILOT
What the ...?

PILOT
(laughing)
A tree full of naked humans...
that's a first.

Jake examines the expanse of clear, open land; the Aclinic Island gone.

JAKE
It worked!
(excitedly)
Looks like we've been given a
second chance. Let's pray we've
learned our lesson.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE SCARLETT HIGH HEELS - An encore presentation

2010-04-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Leading Man/Tap Dancer - Gene Kelly (42%)
Partner - Ginger Rogers (42%)
Director - Vincente Minelli (40%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. 1930's HOLLYWOOD STUDIO - DAY

With an Orchestra at the ready, the LEADING MAN/TAP DANCER embraces a WOMAN casting for the role of his leading lady.

DIRECTOR
Action.

As the couple tap and glide in perfect harmony, a mischievous gleam in the woman's eye travels to her feet as she disregards the scripted choreography, ad libbing with barrell rolls and bombershays.

Initially, her partner expresses exasperation at her unspoken challenge, then competitively accepts.

As their pace accelerates, the Orchestra follows in tempo to chasse-s, chaine-s, and balance-s, while their heels cluster click, scuff, stubb, twist and thump across the floor; she growing attracted to him, as he to her with every tap.

The silence of the entranced CREW is broken with...

DIRECTOR
Cut! Cut!

As he gropes for his chair,

DIRECTOR
That wasn't in the script.
(to cameraman)
Tell me you got it!

CAMERAMAN
(smacking on his chewing gum)
Got it, boss.

Simultaneously, the woman sits, lifts her gown, and carefully removes her blood-soaked high heels. In her bare, swollen feet she walks gracefully to the director and drops them at his feet. As she turns to leave, the director rushes after her.

DIRECTOR
Where are you going?

WOMAN
Why? Did I get the part?

DIRECTOR
Name your price!

The leading man catches up with her and extends his hand.

LEADING MAN
Shall we dance?

When she accepts, he draws her towards him and begins to sing.

LEADING MAN
Heaven. I'm in heaven.
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.

WOMAN
You can be very charming.

LEADING MAN
(whispers)
I'm in heaven.

As they kiss, the director shrugs, throws the original script into the air, then winks at the cameraman.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME - An encore presentation

2010-04-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Marge - Betty White (66%)
Ralph - Carroll O'Connor (66%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. MODEST HOME.1970's QUEENS, NEW YORK - DAY

A mature COUPLE are washing and putting the breakfast dishes away.

HUSBAND
Baseball season's finally here.

As he walks into the living room to turn on the television,

WIFE
(excitedly)
Why don't we go?

HUSBAND
Not today, Marge. This couch feels too good.
(patting her hand)
Another weekend.

As she faces him on the couch,

MARGE
It's such a beautiful day, Ralph.

Her face brightens up.

MARGE
Is it easy to find the stadium by train?

RALPH
The M train stops right there. Why?

Marge leaps up and disappears into the bedroom.

MARGE (OS)
I'm going.

RALPH
By yourself?

Putting on a light jacket when she returns,

MARGE
If I can survive the birth of three beautiful
children, I can manage a train to the Bronx.

RALPH
I don't know, Marge.

After pecking him on the cheek,

MARGE
I'll call when I get there.

EXT./INT. EL TRAIN STATION - DAY

Ecstatically inhaling the sunny April day, Marge climbs up the stairs to the platform of the station.

When the train arrives, she makes herself comfortable, knitting. At the changeover, she reconsiders, then shoves her knitting into its bag, rises, and joins the THRONGS onto the M train.

INT./EXT. M TRAIN - DAY

Crowded as rush hour, Marge finds and grasps the pole in the center of the compartment, unsteady as the train. When the Stadium comes into view, the compartment quickly empties, she following the enthusiastic FANS down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.

EXT. STADIUM - DAY

Marge grins at the Stadium, then rushes to the box office and patiently waits her turn.

ATTENDANT
Next.

MARGE
One adult ticket please, young man.
Oh, and are there senior discounts?

ATTENDANT
Sorry, the game's sold out.

MARGE
But I've come all the way from Queens.

ATTENDANT
Next!

Disheartened, Marge slowly heads back towards the station. She observes a COUPLE with two CHILDREN waiting on line to enter the stadium.

Excusing herself ever so endearingly and politely to those she cuts in front of, she discreetly joins the family as they pass through the turnstile. She feels a tap on her shoulder.

TICKET COLLECTOR
Ticket, please.

MARGE
Oh, I'm with them.

INT. STADIUM - DAY

As he turns to "them," Marge runs into the heart of the stadium, blending in with the crowds. She begins to panic, watching for security, or worse yet, the police.
Rushing to the telephones, she fumbles for her change purse. She finds, then drops her change. Hands trembling, she picks up the coins and manages to dial.

MARGE
Hurry, Ralph!

RALPH (OS)
Hello?

MARGE
Ralph, I'm going to jail!

RALPH (OS)
What?

MARGE
(glancing around)
They're looking for me now!

RALPH (OS)
What are you talking about?

MARGE
I snuck into Yankee Stadium!

RALPH (OS)
Wail til the boys hear about this!

MARGE
Oh no!

RALPH (OS)
Relax, Marge. Find a seat and enjoy the game.

MARGE
Relax? Enjoy?

RALPH (OS)
Trust me. You're in now. No one is going to bother you.
I'll order some Chinese to celebrate.

Disbelievingly, she peers at the DIAL TONE. She cautiously follows the fans as they make their way to the stands.

EXT. STANDS - DAY

Marge stops abruptly and shakes her head at the half-full stadium. She zooms in on available seats behind third base, buys a box of Cracker Jacks and a diet coke, then rushes to the unclaimed seat placing her snacks on it. She stands and CLAPS when the teams take to the field.

At the tap on her shoulder, she freezes. From the corner of her eye, she notices handcuffs in an outstretched hand.

FAN
You dropped your Cracker Jack's prize, Ma'am.

LAUGHING with relief, she manages a...

MARGE
Thank you, dear.

...and enjoys the ball game, with only an occasional glance over her shoulder.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE GOOD EARTH - An encore presentation

2010-03-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Girl - Dakota Fanning (33%)
Young Woman/Bride/Mother - Kate Winslet (50%)
Grandmother - Helen Mirren (50%)
Young Man/Groom - Jude Law (100%) A FIRST! :))
Grandfather/Senior - Liam Neeson (50%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. COUNTRY HOME - DAY

On a balmy Spring day, a young GIRL walks up the stairs of her home with her MOTHER while savoring a peach. She studies its glistening pit, then smiles.

GIRL
I'll be right back, mom.

She runs down the stairs to an open expanse of land outside the house. She drops to her knees, digs a hole in the moist earth with her fingers, then gently sets the peach pit into its center, covering it lovingly with the dug-up soil.

As she rises, she notes the location of the small mound, then runs home.

TEN YEARS LATER

The young girl, now a young WOMAN rests against the blossoming tree studying with her college SWEETHEART. He lifts her hand and gently kisses it, she bent over to nestle his hair.

ANOTHER TEN YEARS LATER

Under the now twenty-year old tree, a wedding PHOTOGRAPHER is taking pictures of the woman turned BRIDE with her college sweetheart, now GROOM. Wedding GUESTS surround them excitedly, sharing in their joy.

YET ANOTHER TEN YEARS

Picknicking with her three young CHILDREN under the slivers of sunlight and shade, she observes her surroundings with reverence while two dogs are playfully barking and chasing each other.

SOME YEARS LATER

Mature in age, she and her husband exchange proud glances while their children and GRANDCHILDREN are exhuberantly feasting at their annual Spring reunion under the tree's rustling and protective branches.

CUT TO:

Her husband, now in his senior years, stands alone under the rich spread of the peach tree's blossoms. As he caresses its bark,

HUSBAND
Olan, you are the Earth.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

St. Patrick - An encore presentation

2010-03-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Young Patrick - Jonathan Rhys Meyers (66%)
St. Patrick - Liam Neeson (75%)
St. Germain - Richard Harris (100%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. KILPATRICK ESTATE. EARLY 5th CENTURY SCOTLAND - NIGHT

IRISH MARAUDERS reek havoc on the Kilpatrick Estate, abducting young Patrick.

ST. PATRICK (VOICEOVER)
I was sixteen when taken prisoner and brought
to Ireland. There, I was sold as a slave to a
chieftan named Milchu.

EXT. IRISH COUNTRYSIDE - DAY

While tending the flocks in the valley of the Braid and on the slopes of Slemish,

ST. PATRICK (VO)
For six years, I was held captive. In those
days I have said as many as a hundred prayers
and in the night, nearly the same; so that whilst
in the woods and on the mountain, even before
dawn, I was roused to prayer.

The six years of Patrick's captivity became preparation for his future apostolate.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
In a dream, God admonished that I flee. I
found a ship ready to set sail. After some
rebuffs, I was allowed onboard. Though I
returned to Britain among friends, my
heart was set on devoting myself to God.

EXT. BRITISH PROVINCES - DAY

It was under ST. GERMAIN'S guidance, Patrick would be promoted to the priesthood a few years later and became engaged in missionary work.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
Commissioned by the Holy See, St. Germain
proceeded to Britain to combat the erroneous
teachings of Pelagius. I was chosen to be one
of his missionaries and privileged to have
witnessed much, including the calming of
the tempest at sea.

However, Patrick's thoughts turned towards Ireland, and from time to time he was favored with visions of the children from Focluth who cried to him, "O holy youth, come back to Erin, and walk once more amongst us."

ST. PATRICK (VO)
With the blessing of Celestine, Pope of Rome,
who bestowed me with the name Patercius,
St. Germain and I set out for Ireland.

EXT. TARA. 433 IRELAND - EASTER SUNDAY

On Easter Sunday, DRUID CHIEFS and BREHONS came in full numbers to assemble at Tara in 433 AD.

DRUIDS
O king, live forever. This fire, which has been
lighted in defiance of the royal edict, will blaze
forever in this land unless it be this very night
extinguished.

By order of the king and the agency of druids, repeated attempts were made to extinguish the blessed fire and to punish with death the intruder who had disobeyed the royal command. But the fire was not extinguished and, Patrick, shielded by the Divine power.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
The druids and magicians put forth all their
strength and employed all their incantations
to maintain their sway over the Irish race.
But our prayer and faith achieved a glorious
triumph.
(beat)
By their incantations, a cloud of darkness
spread over the hill and surrounding plain.
I defied them to remove the cloud and knelt
in prayer. The sun sent forth its rays and the
brightest sunshine lit up the hills.

It was indeed a momentous day for the Irish race. Although the king had given orders that no sign of respect to be extended, Erc, a royal page, arose to show Patrick reverence; and, at that second, when all the chieftains were assembled, the chief-bard, Dubbtach, showed Patrick the same honor.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
I then plucked a shamrock from the sward
to explain by its triple leaf and single stem the
Blessed Trinity. And on that bright Easter Day,
the triumph of religion at Tara was complete.

FADE TO BLACK

EPILOGUE

It is sometimes supposed that St. Patrick's apostolate in Ireland was an unbroken series of peaceful triumphs, but is quite the reverse. He was subjected to frequent trials at the hands of the druids and other enemies. No fewer than 12 times he and his companions were seized and carried off as captives, and on one occasion, his death was decreed, but was liberated by benign Providence.

St. Patrick continued until his death to visit and watch over the churches he had founded in all provinces in Ireland. He comforted the faithful in their difficulties, strenghtened their faith, and appointed pastors to continue his work among them.

At Saul, St. Patrick received the summons to his reward on March 17, 493 and St. Tassach administered the last sacraments to him. His remains were wrapped in the shroud woven by St. Brigid and were interred at the chieftan's Fort two miles from Saul, where the Cathedral of Down would arise.

Above information from the Catholic Encyclopedia on St. Patrick at http://www.newadvent.org/cathen//11554a.htm .

*formatted by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

MT. OLYMPICS

2010-02-22T09:11:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Zeus - Donald Sutherland (83%)
Hera - Judy Dench (40%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. ORNATE FOUNTAIN. MT. OLYMPUS - DAY

ZEUS stands facing the fountain; his wife, HERA, sitting on its edge. Zeus waves his hand over the fountain. Images of the Vancouver Olympic Games appear in the water.

ZEUS
Just in time.

HERA
Skiing?

ZEUS
The first downhill run.
(exasperated)
He's holding back.

HERA
There is no better skier than you, my love.

Zeus is fixated on the SKIER as he skis into last place.

ZEUS
Hera, I'll be back for dinner.

HERA
Where are you going?

In a flash, Zeus disappears.

EXT. WHISTLER BLACKCOMB MOUNTAIN. VANCOUVER - DAY

Zeus strides through the crowds, disguised as a spectator. He climbs to the Olympian downhill start house. The skier in last place shivers as an unusual sensation overtakes him.

Shaking off the sensation, he steps forward for his final downhill run. With uncharacteristic aggressiveness and grace, he flies downhill into first place.

Flanked by reporters and fellow skiers, he's stunned by his Gold medal performance.

EXT. WHISTLER MEDALS PLAZA - NIGHT

After the medals ceremony, the MEDIA rush towards him; a sexy JOURNALIST reaching him first.

JOURNALIST
I've never seen anything like your performance!
(grinning)
You were like a god out there.

SKIER
I had some help.

JOURNALIST
From?

SKIER
(as he steps closer)
Shall we talk about it over a quiet, intimate dinner?

JOURNALIST
(sensually)
Sure, but what about your wife?

SKIER
Your beauty rivals her broad mindedness.

JOURNALIST
Zeus, it's Hera.

Zeus whinces. Grinning,

HERA
Who should be your next winner?

ZEUS
(smiling)
He's a ski jumper.
(thumping his chest)
It feels just like Mt. Olympus.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

FIDDLE-DEE-DEE - An encore presentation

2010-01-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
SCARLETT - Vivien Leigh (50%)
MAMMY - Tie between Hattie McDaniel and Queen Latifah (50%)
JULIE - Jennifer Aniston (60%)
ASHLEY - Leslie Howard (50%)
RHETT - Clark Gable (66%)

Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. MANSION. POST-CIVIL WAR ATLANTA, GEORGIA - DAY

SCARLETT escorts her new SUITOR to the front door of her mansion.

SUITOR
Don't leave me on tender hooks, Scarlett.

SCARLETT
Fiddle-dee-dee! I'll give you my answer tomorrow.

As MAMMY appears,

SCARLETT
Good day, Mr. Finnegan.

Upon his departure,

MAMMY
Miss Marsden is waiting in the drawing room.

SCARLETT
Bring in tea and biscuits, Mammy.

INT. DRAWING ROOM - SAME

JULIE MARSDEN is admiring Ashley Wilkes' photo. When Scarlett appears, she sets it back in its rightful place.

SCARLETT
(extending her hand)
It's so very nice to meet you, Miss Marsden.

MISS MARSDEN
Please -- call me Julie.

SCARLETT
Are you planning on building a home here
in Atlanta, Julie? I'm not ashamed to say
I have the finest Georgia pine.

Mammy enters and sets the tray of tea and biscuits down.

JULIE
Frankly, I've come for your advice.

SCARLETT
Advice?

JULIE
What's your secret?

SCARLETT
(perplexed)
Secret?

JULIE
You've been married three times.
(sarcastically)
Seems I'll be an old maid.

SCARLETT
Fiddle-dee-dee, Julie.

JULIE
Fiddle-dee-dee? That's the secret?

Before Scarlett replies, ASHLEY stumbles in.

ASHLEY
There you are, Scarlett. I rushed over to tell you...

He stops abruptly at the sight of Julie.

ASHLEY
Hello.

JULIE
(sensually)
Fiddle-dee-dee.

As she pours herself a cup of tea,

ASHLEY
Let me help you.

Scarlett watches on, aghast.

SCARLETT
(in rapid exchange)
Fiddle-dee-dee.

On cue, Ashley stops pouring to tend to Scarlett.

JULIE
(competitively)
Fiddle-dee-dee, Ashley.

RHETT BUTLER barges in past Mammy.

RHETT
Scarlett, it's just no good. I can't go on without you.

SCARLETT
Rhett!

As Ashley pats Julie's hand,

SCARLETT
Ashley!

RHETT
Once and for all, Scarlett, make up your mind!

SCARLETT
And spoil the fun?

RHETT
(frustrated, turns to Mammy)
Fiddle-dee-dee, Mammy!

MAMMY
(blushing)
Lordy, Mr. Rhett. You is bad!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

How many references to the film, Gone with the Wind, can you find?

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

JACK AND JILL - An encore presentation

2010-01-18T16:22:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Jack - Johnny Depp (80%)
Jill - Kate Winslet (80%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. FOOT OF HILL - DAY

JACK and JILL climbed up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown...

Lying on the grass, distorted images of trees beneath the sky come into view as Jack slowly regains consciousness.

JILL
Jack, can you hear me?

Gingerly touching his bruised head, Jack sits up.

JACK
What happened?

JILL
You broke your crown again.

JACK
My crown? I do not wear a crown.

Studying his clothing, then feeling his face,

JACK
Where is my mask? And my cape?

JILL
Mask? Cape?

JACK
Have we had the pleasure of meeting, Senorita?

JILL
We've only climbed that hill fetching water for
what seems like an eternity.

JACK
Me? Fetch water?

JILL
Jack...

JACK
And why do you insist on calling me Jack? I am
Don Juan deMarco.

JILL
Who?

As he stands upright,

JACK
The greatest lover in the world.

JILL
(rolls her eyes)
If we don't fetch the water, we'll be sacked. Not
now, of all times.

JACK
My dear Senorita. You must not fret.

JILL
It takes more than love to pay the bills.

JACK
So young and so cynical. Do not underestimate
the power of love. And, it just so happens -- I am
rich.

JILL
And where, prey tell, is the money?

JACK
On the other side of the hill.

JILL
(sighs)
Okay. Let's go.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill to fetch deMarco's money. Jack fell down and broke his crown...

Moaning, Jack lies in a stupor.

JILL
Jack?
(no response)
Mr. deMarco.

JACK
Who?

JILL
James Bond.

JACK
(thoughtfully)
No.

JILL
Robin Hood.

JACK
No.

Jill takes his hand and guides him over the hill. As they disappear,

JILL (OS)
The King of England.

JACK (OS)
Yes, King George. No, King Edward. No...

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

RUNNING ON RESOLUTIONS - An encore presentation

2010-01-03T08:35:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
NICK - Toni Randall (40%)
AL - Jack Klugman (40%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. RUNNERS' PATH. CENTRAL PARK - DAY

Two MEN are jogging together in Central Park on a freezing January morning.

AL
I should have my head examined for letting
you talk me into running this morning.

NICK
And break last year's resolution? You lost
how many pounds? Five? I lost at least ten.

And since I stopped smoking the year before,
my doctor says my lungs are clean as a whistle.

And when I started eating a low-fat diet the
year before that, my cholesterol is as low as
my low-rise underwear.

And since I promised to help around the
house, my wife is one happy camper,
especially in the bedroom.

Al rolls his eyes.

NICK
And how about the year we started our
business. I vowed I'd stop complaining
about your three-hour lunches, and
your endless long-distance calls, and
your so-called business write-offs...
more like expensive gifts to Liz,
Sandra, Connie, and God only knows
who else.

AL
Have you decided on this year's
resolution yet?

NICK
You know me. If I can't keep it, I won't
make it. Why? You have any ideas?

AL
Yeah. A vow of silence.

Their VOICES fade out...

NICK
You know I can't do that. How else can
I tell you what's on my mind.

AL
What's left of it.

...as they disappear out of view.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Santa in Training - An encore presentation

2009-12-19T14:42:00.000-08:00

INT. LIVING ROOM. HOME - CHRISTMAS EVE

Sitting on a recliner in a sparsely decorated living room, a MAN is on the telephone.

MAN
Okay, mom, see you and Josh tomorrow. Night.

After hanging up, he rests his head on the back of the recliner and shuts his eyes. A CRASH from the unlit fireplace causes him to jump. A clump of red, covered in soot, lands onto the cold, stone hearth.

MAN
Who's there?

Brushing herself off, a WOMAN dressed in a Santa suit turns to him.

WOMAN
I'm so sorry. I'm new at this.

MAN
Stay where you are or I'll call...

WOMAN
Please. Don't call Santa.

Confused, the man stares at her.

WOMAN
You see, I'm a Santa in training. And I might lose my job if...

MAN
You're a Santa in training?

WOMAN
Santa is so busy. He needs all the help he can get.
(self-consciously)
I have your present.
(looking up the chimney)
It seems, it's still on your roof though.

MAN
(laughing)
I've had too much wine!

Suppressing her attraction to him, she extends her hand, business-like but warmly.

WOMAN
It's Laurie.

MAN
Simon.
(a moment of awkward silence)
Would you care for a glass of wine?

The grandfather clock STRIKES midnight.

LAURIE
Thanks, Simon, but I can't. I'm late as it is.
I have so many presents to deliver.

SIMON
C'mon, Laurie. We both know there's no such thing as Santa.

LAURIE
(aghast)
No such thing as Santa? I'm getting your present right now.
Maybe then you'll believe me.

Simon shakes his head as the front door SLAMS. He hears mumbled CONVERSATION on the lawn.

EXT. HOUSE - CHRISTMAS DAY

LAURIE
(to nearing neighbor)
My reindeer are gone! I need to get to the roof!

The neighbor looks at her queerly.

NEIGHBOR
Why?

LAURIE
Do you have a ladder?

NEIGHBOR
(scratching his head)
I'll be right back!

When he returns, the neighbor sets the ladder onto the side of the house. It steady, Laurie climbs to the roof. She searches her sack, finds Simon's present, then climbs down.

LAURIE
(to neighbor)
Thank you so very much for your help. Merry Christmas!

NEIGHBOR
Merry Christmas.

Laurie then rushes into Simon's house.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHRISTMAS DAY

As she hands him his present,

LAURIE
Merry Christmas, Simon.

Self-consciously he gropes for it. She understands.

LAURIE
(gently)
I'll read the card.

SIMON
Fine.

LAURIE
Merry Christmas, Simon. Enclosed is a check for
the eye surgery. I know it will be a success. Santa

Simon buries his head in his hands; Laurie kneeling before him.

LAURIE
If you'd like, I'll go with you.

Simon finds, then clasps Laurie's hand, a grateful tear trickling down his cheek.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas!

A POCKET FULL OF MIRACLES - An Encore Presentation

2009-12-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

EXT. MACY'S DEPARTMENT STORE. MANHATTAN - DAY

On a brisk December day, hurrying holiday SHOPPERS rush in and out of Macy's. Near its entrance stands a MAN CALLING OUT to anyone who will listen.

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle here!

PASSERSBY look upon him queerly as he continues to chant.

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle here!

Adjusting his iPod, a TEENAGER stops in curiosity.

TEENAGER
How much?

MAN
It's free.

TEENAGER
(sarcastically)
Nothing's free.

Then walks away. Untethered,

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle!

A young COUPLE stops and exchanges glances.

WOMAN
What kind of miracles?

MAN
You name it.

WOMAN
My boyfriend and I want to get married but
we can't afford a ring.

As her boyfriend tugs at her arm, the man searches for and pulls from his pocket a brilliant engagement ring. He hands it to the woman who excitedly shows it to her boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND
How much does it cost?

MAN
Nothing.

BOYFRIEND
It's a fake. Let's go.

As they walk away, the woman gleans the ring then smiles at the man appreciatively.

A hunched OLD MAN steps out of the crowds and faces the miracle man.

OLD MAN
I bet you don't have anything in your pocket for me.

MIRACLE MAN
Try me.

OLD MAN
I remember when I was twenty. I was as strong
as Hercules. Played lots of sports too.

The miracle man listens patiently.

OLD MAN
My wife was my biggest fan. We were high school
sweethearts.

Not saying a word, the man begins walking; the old man in step beside him.

OLD MAN
We were married over fifty years.
(quietly)
She died last year.

MIRACLE MAN
I'm very sorry.

As they continue to walk together,

OLD MAN
I live around the corner. Would you join me
for dinner?

MIRACLE MAN
I'd be honored.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE SPIRIT OF THANKSGIVING - An Encore Presentation

2009-11-21T11:37:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Massasoit - Russell Means (37%)
Dorah - Sissy Spacek (57%)
Luther - Tie between Gary Cooper and Daniel-Day Lewis (28%)
Daughter - Kate Hudson (28%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. LOG CABIN. PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS - THANKSGIVING DAY

A FAMILY of six are gathered around the dining table adorned with the cornucopia of Thanksgiving dinner.

Anticipant as the grandfather clock CHIMES three o'clock,

MOTHER
He'll be here.

FATHER
He's late, Dorah.

DORAH
We won't start without him, Luther.

LUTHER
(firmly)
He'd be the first to understand.

As Luther begins carving the turkey, Dorah lets out a SIGH. Their DAUGHTER clasps her hand reassuringly.

DAUGHTER
He's been here every Thanksgiving, dad.

Luther stops carving with the KNOCK at the door.

GRANDSON
He's here!

He and his sister run out of the dining room and return holding the hands of Native American, MASSASOIT.

All surround him excitedly and guide him to his place at the table.

GRANDDAUGHTER
We saved your chair, Great Sachem.

Massasoit nods, smiling. As he sits, he retrieves the ceremonial pipe from his pouch, then lights it. After inhaling, he passes it to Luther who then passes it to Dorah. She respectfully inhales and returns it to Massasoit.

After snuffing the pipe, Massasoit sets it adjacent to his place setting. Ritualistically, each extends and holds the other's hand, heads bowed.

DORAH
We give thanks today for Your eternal bounty.

ALL
(in unison)
Amen.

MASSASOIT
Aho.

FADE TO BLACK

Happy Thanksgiving!

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE HUNCHBACK OF HOLLYWOOD -- An encore presentation

2009-11-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Quasimodo (Before) - Danny DeVito (37%)
Quasimodo (After) - Hugh Jackman (37%)
Phoebus - Richard Chamberlain (55%)
Esmeralda - Penelope Cruz (50%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

Ext. Square Outside Notre Dame Cathedral. Medieval Paris - Day

QUASIMODO, Notre Dame's disfigured bell ringer, is sentenced for disturbing the peace and abducting, ESMERALDA, the gypsy dancer. He is shackled to the pillory where he is flogged and exposed for an hour to public disgrace.

Despite the stifling heat, throngs gather to gawk at the Hunchback's demise. His head bowed, Esmeralda looks on, pitying him. Quasimodo slowly raises his head and peers into the crowd.

QUASIMODO
(cries out)
Water.

CROWD
(mimics)
Water.

QUASIMODO
(emphatically)
Water!

CROWD
(laughs)
Water!

All are silenced as Esmeralda walks up the stairs to the pillory and offers the Hunchback water from her pouch. He turns aways, embarrasssed of his ugliness in the light of her beauty.

She patiently allows water to moisten his parched lips. Remembering his thirst, he bends back, mouth opened, and guzzles the remaining water, then collapses.

PHOEBUS, Captain of the King's Archery, rides through the crowd and up to the pillory. He dismounts, joins Esmeralda, then turns to face the people.

PHOEBUS
Have your last stare at this poor creature for he will
no longer be deformed. I, Phoebus de Chateaupers,
will perform a miracle.

When Quasimodo is released, Phoebus escorts him into the cathedral; the crowd on their heels.

INT. NOTRE DAME - DAY

PHOEBUS
(swaggering)
I've been hired, my dear disfigured man, by Nip/Tuck.
It seems they believe I can perform wonders with my
dagger and sword. Let's prove them right, shall we?

Quasimodo blinks, perplexed. After hours of grueling nipping and tucking, Phoebus steps back to admire his accomplishment.

PHOEBUS
Voila! Magnifique! You shall no longer suffer such
humiliation!

EXT. NOTRE DAME - NIGHT

As they walk down the cathedral's steps, the crowd rushes towards them and GASPS.

PHOEBUS
My friends, I give you the new and improved Quasimodo!

Slender, handsome, and erect, Quasimodo steps forward. Esmeralda immediately joins him while the people gape.

QUASIMODO
How can I ever repay you, Phoebus, and Nip/Tuck.
And, here's to my beautiful bride-to-be, Esmeralda.

Turning to her,

PHOEBUS
Marrying Quasimodo?

ESMERALDA
After the prenup, of course!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE PHANTOM - An Encore Presentation

2009-10-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Bondie - Clint Eastwood (55%)
Tuco - Lee Van Cleef (33%)
Skeleton's V/O - Jack Nicholson (44%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. SAD HILL CEMETARY. LATE 1860's - NIGHT

BLONDIE, a subdued bounty hunter, and his partner, TUCO, have been riding for hours in search of gold purportedly buried at Sad Hill Cemetary.

Visibility is blinding in the storm-ridden night; clouds weighing heavily under the stars and over their heads.

BLONDIE
Here's as good as any to set up camp.

They dismount and gather their sleeping gear from the rear of their horses. Tuco spreads their blankets while Blondie builds the fire. As it grows, it illuminates an encircled cemetary just a few hundred feet away. Tuco's eyes widen at the sight. He grows uncomfortable.

TUCO
Did you hear that?

BLONDIE
Hear what?

TUCO
Listen.

Blondie stops stirring the pan of beans. Nothing.

BLONDIE
(irritated)
Get the bread.

Tuco reaches for his pack, then hears a MOAN.

TUCO
You didn't hear that?

BLONDIE
You're gettin' on my nerves. Go on, eat.

Bolts of lightening flash across the sky causing Tuco more uneasiness as he reaches for his gun.

BLONDIE
If you don't cut it out, I'll slug you one.

Tuco glares at Blondie, then stands, squinting into the fog. He takes a few steps; disappears. Blondie quickly rises, drawing his gun.

BLONDIE
I said, cut it out.
(silence)
I ain't kiddin'.

It begins to pour.

PHANTOM
He ain't comin' back.

Blondie turns in every direction, gun cocked.

BLONDIE
Who's there?

PHANTOM
Your reward.

BLONDIE
Reward?

PHANTOM
I'll give you three clues.

Blondie steps cautiously to his horse as the Phantom's voice grows louder, nearer.

PHANTOM
One. My first name is Arch.
Two. My last name is Stanton.
Three...

Solving the riddle in a flash,

BLONDIE
Where's the gold?

Face-to-face with the skeleton of Arch Stanton,

SKELETON
(laughing maniacally)
There ain't no gold.

As he retreats,

BLONDIE
What do you want?

SKELETON
(seriously)
A part.

BLONDIE
A part?

SKELETON
(grimaces)
I always wanted to be an actor.

As it throws its arm around Blondie's shoulder,

SKELETON
You think Clint's got anything for me?

FADE TO BLACK

Happy Halloween!

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

COLUMBUS MEETS JACK SPARROW -- An Encore Presentation

2009-10-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Christopher Columbus - Antonio Banderas (33%)
Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp (73%)
Davey Jones - Tie between Peter Lorre & Lon Chaney (28%)
Teacher - Reese Witherspoon (35%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS. SANTA MARIA - DAY

In his quarters, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS furiously makes notes after studying compass readings and maps. His PILOT, Sancho, enters.

SANCHO
You are needed on deck, Capitain.

COLUMBUS
What is it?

SANCHO
A ship is on the horizon.

EXT. DECK. SANTA MARIA - DAY

Studying the ship's black hull and sails,

COLUMBUS
It's Sparrow.

SANCHO
Here? Should we stand ready for battle?

COLUMBUS
No. We'll negotiate.

As the Santa Maria and the Black Pearl grow within hearing distance of each other,

COLUMBUS
What brings you to these parts, Sparrow?

SPARROW
The same as you, Columbus. Spices, silk,
a short cut to the Indies.

The ships are now parallel; Columbus and Sparrow face-to-face.

COLUMBUS
You'll never find it, Sparrow.

SPARROW
No?

Columbus remains steadfast as Sparrow gestures to his pilot who disappears, then
reappears moments later with ISLAND NATIVES and a chest of booty.

COLUMBUS
Where did you find them?

SPARROW
That is for me to know and for you
to find out.

COLUMBUS
Buffoon.

SPARROW
Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Sparrow jumps onto a mast, then down to the steering wheel, speeding ahead.

COLUMBUS
(to Sancho)
Remain on course.

When land is sighted, Columbus' CREW notices a fiery glow and billowing smoke; the Black Pearl uneasy in the water.

COLUMBUS
Get ready to dock.

EXT. ISLAND - NIGHT

The Santa Maria rests adjacent to the Black Pearl. As its crew climbs down, Sparrow and his men are eating fish on leaves, fraternizing with the Natives, and worse for drink.

Columbus steps up to Sparrow who salutes him.

COLUMBUS
Let's get back onboard, Sancho.

Sparrow fumbles to his feet, ordering his men.

SPARROW
Get up you bungling idiots!

The Black Pearl remains on Santa Maria's hull. When Columbus sights land, he jumps overboard, swims to shore, then collapses.

As Sparrow is about to do the same, DAVY JONES emerges from the water.

SPARROW
Not now, Davy.

DAVY
We have lots to talk about, Sparrow.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY

A TEACHER stands before a classroom of engrossed ten-year olds.

TEACHER
So children, without Davy Jones' help, Columbus
may not have discovered the Caribbean Islands.

A GIRL raises her hand.

TEACHER
Yes, Jane.

JANE
(sobbing)
But what happened to Johnny Depp?

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

They Had The Time of Their Lives!

2009-09-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

Please pause playlist on bottom right-hand of page to watch videos.

FADE IN:

INT. STAGE. ROWAN AND MARTIN'S LAUGH-IN STUDIO - NIGHT

ROWAN and MARTIN bow to the audience's APPLAUSE.

ROWAN

Dick, have you seen this, yet?

MARTIN

No. I have not.

MARTIN

Our very own Henry Gibson, ladies and gentlemen. CLAPPING,

ROWAN

And now, the incomparable Mary Travers joined by two very special ladies.

Men WHISTELING,

ROWAN

Magnificent, ladies. Thank you.

MARTIN

(gyrating)

Anyone in the mood for some dirty dancing?

The audience rises to its feet, APPLAUDING feverishly.

ROWAN

C'mon everyone.

The show's guests and stars dance and SING to "The Time of My Life" around the stage. As Martin waves to the audience,

ROWAN

Have the time of your life!

ROWAN and MARTIN

Good night.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

The Aclinic Line

2009-08-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Dr. Jake Eastman - Harrison Ford (25%)
Anne - Tie between Kate Winslet and Diane Lane (27%)
Thank you for voting!

MONTAGE:

Fed by sewage dumping into the ocean off the east coast of the United States, the Aclinic Network of ducts and mini-islands expands towards the Statue of Liberty, Atlantic City, and Disney World.

Simultaneously, sewage dumping off the coasts of Europe and Asia causes the Aclinic Network to expand towards the Eiffel Tower, London Bridge, Venice, and Hong Kong, China, and Japan.

INT. TELEVISION BROADCASTING STUDIO - NIGHT

Last minute changes are made to accommodate DR. JAKE EASTMAN, a noted and respected Geophysicist, accompanied by his wife, ANNE, an Oceanographer.

ANNE
But Jake, aren't we risking panic?

JAKE
We've got to try.

The Engineer signals to the News Anchor.

ANCHOR
We interrupt our regular broadcast for a
special communication from Dr. Jake Eastman.

The Engineer signals to Jake.

JAKE
I've been working with my wife and dozens of
colleagues in uncovering the planet-threatening,
Aclinic Line.
(beat)
Its heart, the Aclinic Island is violently tremoring.
We must stop major dumping and polluting to
prevent possible eruption.
(pauses)
The ramifications of its eruption would be
devastating to life as we know it. I urge everyone
to do whatever possible. Thank you.

After exiting the studio,

EXT. ACLINIC ISLAND - DAY

RUMBLINGS grow deafening and steady.

INT. WEATHER MODIFICATION CENTER - DAY

Meeting with its Director,

JAKE
My colleagues have produced a biodegradeable
solution which can dissolve the Aclinic Line.
We need your help in administering it
globally.

DR. SANTOS
Although cloud seeding has been around since
the forties, there are no guarantees, Dr. Eastman.

JAKE
It's our only hope in ridding the network.

DR. SANTOS
(ponders)
We can use jets to drop the solution into the clouds.
Hopefully, this will encourage precipitation of the
solution to fall onto the targeted areas.

JAKE
We'll start immediately.

EXT. SKY - NIGHT

Jets fly overhead, cloud seeding the solution over the network worldwide.

EXT. ACLINIC ISLAND - NIGHT

As a convoy approaches the island, ooze spews relentlessly as the island shrinks, exponentially. Jake SHRIEKS his jeep to a sudden stop, flooding, threatening the convoy.

As he notes nearby trees, he grabs hold of a low branch and climbs.

JAKE
Follow me!

The rest of the convoy join him, some falling into the ooze. Suddenly, precipitation causes a dense fog. Nothing, nor anyone can be seen.

JAKE (O.S.)
Is everyone all right?

COLLEAGUE (O.S.)
My clothes are disappearing.

JAKE (O.S.)
It's the solution. It'll dissolve all
man-made chemicals. I told you
to wear cotton.

When the fog lifts,

INT. CHOPPER - NIGHT

CO-PILOT
What the...?

PILOT
(laughing)
A tree full of naked humans...
that's a first.

Jake examines the expanse of clear, open land; the Aclinic Island gone.

JAKE
It worked!
(excitedly)
Looks like we may have been given
a second chance. Let's pray we've
learned our lesson.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Angels Moonwalking on The Tonight Show

2009-07-04T08:18:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to pause the playlist on the bottom right side of the page to hear videos.

FADE IN:

INT. THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JOHNNY CARSON STUDIO - NIGHT

JOHNNY CARSON and ED McMAHON are sharing CHUCKLES as the show airs.

JOHNNY CARSON (JC)

Moving right along.

ED McMAHON (EM)

Please welcome our first guest, Karl Malden.

As Karl shakes Johnny's and Ed's hands,

Congratulations. We just heard of your nomination for Best Supporting Actor. Take a look why, folks.

What was it like to work with Vivien Leigh?

KARL

She was an angel.

Speaking of angels, we've got a live one tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, a warm welcome for Farrah Fawcett.

After Farrah hugs everyone,

You're looking beautiful as ever.

FARRAH

Thank you, Johnny.

Here's a clip of the show that catapulted you to fame. Let's take a look.

And now you're sharing your battle with cancer in a documentary.

FARRAH

That's right. I hoped to share with others who have cancer to look right into its face -- not to be afraid.

I'm sure I can speak for everyone of your extraordinary strength and courage.

To fervent APPLAUSE,

FARRAH

Thank you.

We'll be right back after this commercial break.

The audience rises to their feet, CLAPPING enthusiastically, while Johnny attempts to moonwalk. With outstretched arm,

Michael Jackson.

Sitting after his performance,

What do you think of my moonwalk, Michael?

MICHAEL

With a few pointers, you'll be ready to star in my next video.

As they rise LAUGHING,

FARRAH

Mind if I join in?

Why don't we all get in on the act.

Michael GIGGLES as the group moonwalks around the studio floor then breaks into free-form dancing. Johnny waves the audience to join in. Facing the camera,

We hope you enjoyed tonight's show. Good night.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

FATHER OF THE BRIDE

2009-06-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

FADE IN:

INT. HOME OFFICE - DAY

A MIDDLE-AGED MAN is on the telephone gleaning a sheet of paper in his other hand.

MAN
(irate)
Hold on just a second.

He gathers up another sheet of paper.

MAN
(increasingly ired)
I'll call you right back.

MAN
(bellows)
Mary!

His WIFE rushes in.

MARY
Must you shout so, Albie?

ALBIE
What's this?

MARY
It's the bill for the flowers.

ALBIE
Five thousand dollars? And this?

MARY
The Photographer.

ALBIE
That's it! One more week of this and we'll be
in the poor house!

MARY
Stop exaggerating.

Albie irately collects the invoices, rises, then paces.

ALBIE
I can understand a ten thousand dollar wedding
gown. But a coach? Why can't she have a limousine
like every other bride? Who do I look like? Walt Disney?

A young WOMAN rushes into the office CRYING hysterically.

DAUGHTER
There you are, Mother!

MARY
What's wrong, Christine?

CHRISTINE
(between sobs)
We...broke...up.

MARY
You and Rob broke up?

ALBIE
Wonderful news. I mean...

Mary glares at him as she guides Christine to a chair.

MARY
What happened?

Christine
He wants to elope. Can you believe it?

ALBIE
It's cheaper, that's for sure.

CHRISTINE
Father!

ALBIE
You know your mother and I eloped. And look
how long we've been happily married.

CHRISTINE
You did, didn't you? It's romantic, isn't it?

ROB rushes in.

ROB
Excuse me for barging in like this.

CHRISTINE
I have nothing to say. If you knew better, I
never want to see you again.

Albie skulks out of the office, then rushes through the house into the yard.

EXT. YARD - DAY

As he approaches the GARDENER,

ALBIE
Grab the ladder and place it at that window.
Then bring the car around.

The gardener winks.

ALBIE
Well?

Then turns back into the house.

INT. OFFICE - DAY

Albie returns to find Rob kneeling before Christine.

ROB
I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, my love.

Albie notices the ladder swaying to and fro at the window.

ALBIE
Look. A ladder.

MARY
What's it doing there?

Albie grins coyly as he walks seductively towards Mary.

ALBIE
Don't you remember? How about we renew our vows.

MARY
(blushing)
Quite the romantic, you are.

Entranced, Christine watches on as Albie extends his arm, Mary wrapping hers around it. She jumps up and graps Rob's hand.

CHRISTINE
If it was good enough for my parents, it's
good enough for me!

MARY
What? Now?

CHRISTINE
Yes, now! The four of us!

LAUGHING, they crawl through the window and step carefully onto the ladder. From the garden,

GARDENER
Where are the suitcases?

MARY
And money!

The four step back up the ladder and crawl back into the office. All rush out but Albie who sits at his desk, reflecting.

Upon their return,

MARY
(excitedly)
I packed for you, dear.

Albie rises, then stands before them.

ALBIE
Rob, a happy wife is a happy life.
Remember that.
(hugs Christine)
My angel, I won't put a price on your
happiness. You have your wedding...with
all the bells and whistles. And you'll make
me the proudest father in the world.

Christine
(buries herself in his arms)
Daddy, you're the best!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

AND HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

THE GOOD EARTH

2009-05-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

The winners are:
Young Girl - Dakota Fanning (33%)
Young Woman/Bride/Mother - Diane Lane (33%)
Grandmother - Tie between Meryl Streep and Vanessa Redgrave (33%)
Young Man/Groom - Three-way tie between John Cusack, Richard Gere, and Other (22%)
Grandfather/Senior - Liam Neeson (55%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. MIDDLE CLASS HOUSE. COUNTRY - DAY

On a warm and sunny Spring day, a young GIRL walks up the stairs of her home with her mother while savoring a peach. When finished eating, she studies its glistening pit, then smiles.

YOUNG GIRL
I'll be right back, mom.

She runs down the stairs to an open expanse of land outside the house. She drops to her knees, digs a hole in the moist earth with her fingers, then gently sets the peach pit into its center, covering it lovingly with the dug-up soil.

As she rises, she notes the location of the small mound, then runs home.

TEN YEARS LATER

The young girl, now a young WOMAN rests against the blossoming tree, studying with her college SWEETHEART. He lifts her hand and gently kisses it, she bent over to nestle his hair.

ANOTHER TEN YEARS LATER

Under the now twenty-year old tree, a wedding photographer is taking pictures of the woman turned BRIDE with her college sweetheart, now GROOM. Wedding guests surround them excitedly, sharing in their joy.

YET ANOTHER TEN YEARS

Picnicking with her three young children under the slivers of sunlight and shade, she observes her surroundings with reverence while two dogs are playfully barking and chasing each other.

SOME YEARS LATER

Mature in age, she and her husband exchange proud glances while their children and grandchildren are exhuberantly feasting at their annual Spring reunion under the tree's rustling and protective branches.

CUT TO:

Her husband, now in his senior years, stands alone under the rich spread of the peach tree's blossoms. As he caresses its bark,

HUSBAND
Olan, you are the Earth.

FADE TO BLACK

** written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE SCARLETT HIGH HEELS

2009-05-24T21:20:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Leading Man/Tap Dancer - Fred Astaire (71%)
Partner - Sid Charise (57%)
Director - Vincente Minelli (42%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. 1930's HOLLYWOOD STUDIO - DAY

With the Orchestra at the ready behind them, the LEADING MAN/TAP DANCER embraces a WOMAN casting for the role of his leading lady.

DIRECTOR
Action.

As the couple tap and glide in perfect harmony, a mischievous gleam in the woman's eye travels to her feet as she begins to disregard the scripted choreography, ad libbing with barrell rolls and bombershays.

Initially, her partner expresses confusion at her unspoken challenge, then gracefully accepts.

As their pace accelerates, the Orchestra follows in tempo to chasse-s, chaine-s, and balance-s, while their heels cluster click, scuff, stubb, twist and thump across the floor; she growing attracted to him, and he to her.

The silence of the entranced CREW is broken with...

DIRECTOR
Cut! Cut!

As he gropes for his chair,

DIRECTOR
(to the cameraman)
Tell me you got it!

CAMERAMAN
(smacking on his chewing gum)
Got it, boss.

Simultaneously, the woman sits, lifts her gown, and carefully removes her red-soaked high heels. In her bare, swollen feet she walks gracefully to the director and drops them at his feet. As she turns to leave, the director rushes after her.

DIRECTOR
Name your price!

The leading man catches up to her, extending his hand.

LEADING MAN
Shall we dance?

As she accepts his hand, he begins to sing.

LEADING MAN
(singing)
Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.

WOMAN
When you dance, you're charming and you're
gentle.

LEADING MAN
(whispers)
I'm in heaven.

As they kiss, the director shrugs, throws the original script into the air, then winks at the cameraman.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

2009-05-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

With the help of your love waves,

we pulled through!

Thank you!

Love, Petra xo

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Thank you!

2009-05-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hello my dear friends,

Your well wishes were so very much appreciated. My father recovered well, but my mother will be going into the heart rehabilitation this week, so will not have time to visit or post. Again, thank you, mes amis.

Love, Petra xo

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Will be back soon

2009-04-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

Tending to my father's cataract surgery and recovery.
Stay well and may your creative juices continue to overflow! Petra xo

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Rerun of SOCKO thru 4/18 (My Apologies!-Playing Catch Up!)

2009-04-13T11:35:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Barbara - Other (28%)
Barbara's Conscience - Tie between Bette Davis & Whoopi Goldberg (28%)
Ball of Socks Voiceover - Anthony Perkins (33%)
Policeman - Tie between Tommy Lee Jones & Clint Eastwood ( 33%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. DEN. SUBURBAN HOME - NIGHT

Lying on the sofa, a WOMAN reads a psychological thriller, her cat sleeping at her feet. She sets the book down, eyeing the room suspiciously. The furniture seems to have moved in closer to her. She shudders.

The CHIMES of the grandfather clock cause her to jump. As she collects herself,

BARBARA
Ten o'clock.

Hand in chin, she absentmindedly talks to the cat.

BARBARA
One piece of chocolate won't hurt my diet.

BARBARA'S CONSCIENCE
Where's your will power?

BARBARA
Leave me alone! It's only one piece of chocolate!

She gets up and walks into the kitchen.

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Barbara searches every nook and cranny to no avail.

BARBARA
What'd I do with them?

Her eyes widen. She rushes downstairs to the washroom in the basement.

INT. WASHROOM - NIGHT

She flicks the switch. No light.

BARBARA
Why did you have to pick tonight to go out, Jack?

In the dark she gropes for the flashlight on the shelf with the laundry supplies. With the flashlight on, she reaches behind the washer/dryer and pulls a gold-covered box.

Smiling, she hurriedly opens the box and pops a chocolate into her mouth, then another.

BARBARA'S CONSCIENCE
You have no will power.

BARBARA
Shut up!

She suddenly hears a CRASH in the garage.

BARBARA
(calls out)
Jack?

Holding the flashlight close to her, Barbara picks up a crowbar resting at the side of the entrance to the garage. She cautiously opens the garage door. Taking up most of the garage, a GIANT BALL OF SOCKS stalks her. She quickly SLAMS the door shut, but her strength is no match for the giant ball of socks. It squeezes through the doorway and chases her up the stairs into the den.

SOCKS VOICEOVER
We want our mates. What have you done
with them?

INT. DEN - NIGHT

Barbara bumps into the sofa, nearly knocking the lamp over. The ball stops dead in its tracks, studying her, breathing heavily. Cautiously, she steps toward the telephone and dials 911.

911 (OS)
What's the emergency?

BARBARA
(whispers)
A ball of socks is...

As it inches closer,

911 (OS)
Did you say a ball of socks?

BARBARA
1099 Elm Street. Hurry!

CUT TO:

When the POLICE arrive, two force the front door open. As they rush into the den, they hear a VOICE coming from upstairs. They rush up the stairs towards Barbara's VOICE in one of the bedrooms.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT

As they kick the door in, guns drawn, Barbara is sitting on the floor pairing socks.

BARBARA
Hello, gentlemen. These socks found one another.
(addresses socks)
How long has it been?

The policemen glance at one another, perplexed.

BARBARA
Would you care for a chocolate? You see, I have no
will power.

POLICEMAN
Ma'am. Why don't you come with us?

BARABARA
I didn't mean to! I promise I won't do it again! Jack?

POLICEMAN
Jack? Who's Jack?

BARBARA
He's not here.

POLICEMAN
Please, ma'am. If you don't make a fuss, I won't handcuff you.

Barbara slowly rises. Her eyes fall on the golden box.

BARBARA
Do you mind if I take that box of chocolates?

POLICEMAN
(sympathetically)
No, ma'am.

CUT TO:

While sitting in the rear of the police car,

BARBARA'S CONSCIENCE
I'll show them I have will power. I won't eat one
chocolate.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME

2009-04-05T09:58:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Marge - Tie between Lucille Ball & Goldie Hawn (37%)
Ralph - Desi Arnaz (37%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. HOME. Mid-1970's QUEENS, NEW YORK - DAY

A MARRIED COUPLE are washing and putting the breakfast dishes away. RALPH walks into the living room and turns on the television.

RALPH
I wonder who the Yankees are playing today?

HIS WIFE
(enthusiastically)
Why don't we go?

RALPH
I want to relax today, Marge. Another weekend.

As she faces him on the couch,

MARGE
But it's such a beautiful day.

Her faces brightens up.

MARGE
Is it easy to get to the stadium by train?

RALPH
The M train stops right there. Why?

Marge leaps up and disappears into the bedroom.

MARGE (OS)
I'm going.

RALPH
By yourself?

Putting on a light jacket when she returns,

MARGE
If I can survive the birth of three kids, I
can manage the train to the Bronx.

RALPH
I don't know, Marge.

After pecking him on the cheek,

MARGE
I'll call when I get there.

EXT./INT. SUBWAY STATION - DAY

Ecstatically inhaling the sunny spring day, Marge climbs up the stairs to the platform of the station.

CUT TO:

Sitting, she makes herself comfortable pulling a novel from her purse. At the changeover, she reconsiders, but quickly shoves the novel in her purse, rises, and joins the throngs who are shoving her onto the M train.

INT. M TRAIN - DAY

Crowded as rush hour, Marge finds and grasps the pole in the center of the compartment, unsteady as the train. When the stadium comes into view, most of the compartment empties, she following, down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.

EXT. STADIUM - DAY

Excitedly, Marge rushes to the Box Office and waits patiently for her turn.

MARGE
One adult ticket, please. Oh, is there
a senior discount?

BOX OFFICE ATTENDANT
Sorry. The game's sold out.

MARGE
I came all the way from Queens!

ATTENDANT
Next!

Disheartened, Marge slowly heads back towards the station. She abruptly stops and turns around. She observes a COUPLE with two CHILDREN waiting on line to enter the stadium.

Excusing herself ever so endearingly and politely to those she cuts in front of, she discreetly joins the family as they pass through the turnstile. She feels a tap on her shoulder.

TICKET COLLECTOR
Ticket, please.

MARGE
I'm with them.

Distracted by his co-worker, Marge runs into the stadium, blending in with the crowds. She begins to panic and searches for the telephones. Paranoid, she watches for security, or worse yet, the police. She fumbles for her wallet. She finds, then drops her change. Hands trembling, she picks up the coins and attempts to dial.

MARGE
C'mon Ralph.

RALPH (OS)
Hello?

MARGE
(panicking)
Ralph...Ralph!

RALPH (OS)
What's wrong?

MARGE
Ralph, I'm going to jail!

RALPH (OS)
What?

MARGE
(glancing around)
They're looking for me now!

RALPH (OS)
Slow down. What are you talking about?

MARGE
I snuck into Yankee Stadium.

RALPH (OS)
All right! Wait till I tell the boys!

MARGE
(taken aback)
Are you crazy?

RALPH (OS)
Relax. Find a seat and enjoy the game.

MARGE
Relax? Enjoy?

RALPH (OS)
Trust me. You're in now. No one is going to
bother you.

MARGE
When I get out of jail, we'll share notes.

RALPH (OS)
I'll order Chinese to celebrate.

Disbelievingly, she peers at the end of the telephone when she hears a dial tone, then studies the crowd of excited FANS who are rushing to the stands.

EXT. STANDS - DAY

As Marge follows them, she abruptly stops in the half-full stadium. She shakes her head in disbelief and wonder, but zooms in on available seats behind third base.

MARGE
I'll be able to touch Greg Nettles.

After she buys a box of Cracker Jax and a diet coke, she rushes to the unclaimed seat, placing her snacks on it, while enthusiastically CLAPPING as the team takes to the field.

Suddenly, she feels a tap on her shoulder. She stops dead. Out of the corner of her eye, she notices handcuffs in an outstretched hand.

FAN
They must be your cracker jax prize.

LAUGHING uncontrollably, she manages a...

MARGE
Thank you, son.

...and enjoys the rest of the game with a glance over her shoulder every inning.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

FLAMING SPADE

2009-03-28T19:20:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Humphrey Bogart (33%) as Sam Spade
Sharon Stone (33%) as Ilsa
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. PRIVATE DETECTIVE'S OFFICE - NIGHT

Disheveled piles of papers dominate the DETECTIVE'S dimly lit office. When a WOMAN appears at the door,

DETECTIVE (VO)
Of all the detective agencies in every town,
in all the world, she walks into mine.

Without exchanging a word, she sits opposite SAM SPADE.

SPADE
Cigarette?

WOMAN
Sure.

After lighting her cigarette, he sits on the edge of the desk facing her.

SPADE
You're looking good, Ilsa.

Inhaling the compliment with her cigarette, she smirks.

ILSA
When I was referred to you, I had no idea
it would be -- you.

SPADE
Who'd you expect?

ILSA
The sensitive young man I wanted to marry.

As Spade returns to his chair,

ILSA
You've got quite the reputation.

SPADE
What's that?

ILSA
A hard, no-nonsense detective. Exactly
what I need now.

SPADE
Yeah? Why?

ILSA
I've been accused of embezzling thousands
of dollars from my husband.

SPADE
Did you?

As she abruptly rises,

ILSA
(defiantly)
I'm innocent!

SPADE
I believed you once and I got a year in the
county jail. Why should I believe you now?

WOMAN
Because...

Spade notices the end of a revolver as the door slowly opens. He rushes to Ilsa, pulling her to the floor as a SHOT shatters the window.

SPADE
Before I call the cops, tell me what's going on.

ILSA
I don't know.

As he dials,

SPADE
Your lover?

ILSA
(reluctantly)
My...brother.

SPADE
Here's looking at you kid--in jail.

ILSA
Why, Sam? Why?

SPADE
You broke my heart, baby.

ILSA
I didn't ask you to steal that diamond
necklace.

SPADE
I would have stolen the county treasury
for you, and you knew it.

ILSA
But I never wanted that, Sam. Never!

SPADE
No. You wanted my heart.

ILSA
And you never gave it to me.

Spade stares at her long and hard over the rim of his glass of gin. The phone RINGS, startling him, causing him to spill the drink on himself.

Suddenly, sparks fly from Spade's hands, his face, then all parts of his body. Ilsa recoils at the sight and flees as the sparks ignite the papers. In the flames,

SPADE
We'll always have Paris. We'll always
have Paris. Here's looking at you, kid.
Here's looking at you, kid. I'm HAL of
the 9000 computer series.
(in slo mo)
Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

JACK AND JILL

2009-03-21T19:36:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
Jack - Johnny Depp (38%)
Jill - Kate Hudson (25%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. FOOT OF HILL - DAY

JACK and JILL climbed up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown...
Lying on the grass, distorted images of trees beneath the sky come into view as Jack slowly opens his eyes.

JILL
Jack, can you hear me?

Gingerly touching his bruised head, Jack sits up.

JACK
What happened?

JILL
You broke your crown again.

JACK
My crown? I do not wear a crown.

Studying his clothing, then feeling his face,

JACK
Where's my mask? And my cape?

JILL
Mask? Cape? That was some fall, Jack.

JACK
Have we had the pleasure of meeting, Senorita?

JILL
Well, we've only climbed that hill fetching water
together for what seems like an eternity.

JACK
Fetch water? Me?

JILL
Jack...

JACK
And why do you insist on calling me Jack? I am
Don Juan deMarco.

JILL
Who?

As he stands upright,

JACK
The greatest lover in the world.

JILL
(rolling her eyes)
If we don't fetch the water, we'll be sacked. Not
now, of all times.

JACK
My dear Senorita. You must not fret.

JILL
It takes more than love to pay the bills.

JACK
So young and so cynical. Do not underestimate
the power of love. And, it just so happens--I am rich.

JILL
And where, prey tell, is the money?

JACK
On the other side of the hill.

JILL
Fine. Let's go.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill to fetch deMarco's money. Jack fell down and broke his crown... Moaning, Jack lies in a stupor.

JILL
Jack?
(no answer)
Mr. deMarco?

JACK
Who?

JILL
James Bond.

JACK
No.

JILL
Robin Hood.

JACK
No.

Jill guides him over the hill by the hand. As they disappear,

JILL (OS)
The King of England.

JACK (OS)
Yes. Yes. Yes.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

ST. PATRICK

2009-03-14T15:24:00.000-07:00

And the winners are:
St. Patrick - Peter O'Toole (60%)
Milchu - Malcolm McDowell (42%)
St. Germain - Sean Connery (57%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. KILPATRICK ESTATE. early 5th century SCOTLAND - NIGHT

IRISH MARAUDERS wreak havoc on the Kilpatrick Estate, abducting young Patrick.

ST. PATRICK (VOICEOVER)
I was sixteen when taken prisoner and brought
to Ireland. There, I was sold as a slave to a
chieftan named Milchu.

EXT. IRISH COUNTRYSIDE - DAY

While tending the flocks in the valley of the Braid and on the slopes of Slemish,

ST. PATRICK (VO)
For six years, I was held captive. In those
days I have said as many as a hundred prayers
and in the night, nearly the same; so that
whilst in the woods and on the mountain, even
before dawn, I was roused to prayer.

The six years of Patrick's captivity became preparation for his future apostolate.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
In a dream, God admonished that I flee. I
found a ship ready to set sail. After some
rebuffs, I was allowed onboard. Though I
returned to Britain among friends, my heart
was set on devoting myself to God.

EXT. BRITISH PROVINCES - DAY

It was under ST. GERMAIN'S guidance, Patrick would be promoted to the priesthood a few years later and became engaged in missionary work.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
Commissioned by the Holy See, St. Germain
proceeded to Britain to combat the erroneous
teachings of Pelagius. I was chosen to be one
of his missionaries and priveleged to have
witnessed much, including the calming of the
tempest at sea.

However, Patrick's thoughts turned towards Ireland, and from time to time he was favored with visions of the children from Focluth who cried to him, "O holy youth, come back to Erin, and walk once more amongst us."

ST. PATRICK (VO)
With the blessing of Celestine, Pope of Rome,
who bestowed me with the name Patercius,
St. Germain and I set out for Ireland.

EXT. TARA. 433 IRELAND - EASTER SUNDAY

On Easter Sunday, DRUID CHIEFS and BREHONS came in full numbers to assemble at Tara in 433.

DRUIDS
O king, live forever. This fire, which has been
lighted in defiance of the royal edict, will blaze
forever in this land unless it be this very night
extinguished.

By order of the king and the agency of druids, repeated attempts were made to extinguish the blessed fire and to punish with death the intruder who had disobeyed the royal command. But the fire was not extinguished and, Patrick, shielded by the Divine power.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
The druids and magicians put forth all their
strength and employed all their incantations
to maintain their sway over the Irish race.
But our prayer and faith achieved a glorious
triumph.
(beat)
By their incantations, a cloud of darkness
spread over the hill and surrounding plain.
I defied them to remove the cloud and knelt
in prayer. The sun sent forth its rays and
the brightest sunshine lit up the hills.

It was indeed a momentous day for the Irish race. Although the king had given orders that no sign of respect was to be extended, Erc, a royal page, arose to show Patrick reverence; and at that second, when all the chieftans were assembled, the chief-bard, Dubhtach, showed Patrick the same honor.

ST. PATRICK (VO)
I then plucked a shamrock from the sward
to explain by its triple leaf and single stem
the Blessed Trinity. And on that bright
Easter Day, the triumph of religion at Tara
was complete.

FADE TO BLACK

It is sometimes supposed that St. Patrick's apostolate in Ireland was an unbroken series of peaceful triumphs, but is quite the reverse. He was subjected to frequent trials at the hands of the druids and other enemies. No fewer than 12 times he and his companions were seized and carried off as captives, and on one occasion, his death was decreed, but was liberated by benign Providence.

St. Patrick continued until his death to visit and watch over the churches he had founded in all provinces in Ireland. He comforted the faithful in their difficulties, strengthened their faith and virtue, and appointed pastors to continue his work among them.

At Saul, St. Patrick received the summons to his reward on March 17, 493 and St. Tassach administered the last sacraments to him. His remains were wrapped in the shroud woven by St. Brigid and were interred at the chieftan's Fort two miles from Saul, where the Cathedral of Down would arise.

Information from the Catholic Encyclopedia on St. Patrick at http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11554a.htm .

**formatted by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Rerun of WAYWORN HOME

2009-03-07T20:57:00.001-08:00

And the winners are:
Jake - Tie between:
Heath Ledger (37%)
Jude Law (37%)
Margaret - Sally Field (50%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. LOG CABIN. MID-1800's - DAY

A young COWBOY rides up to a modest log cabin set on a farm. As he climbs down off his horse, geese snap and chickens CACKLE. A WOMAN his mother's age, opens the door, observing him through a shotgun.

MARGARET
What can I do for you?

JAKE
Well, ma'am. I was wondering if you could use
any help around the farm. Mrs. Johnson sent me.

Margaret studies his thin frame and handsome, but pale face.

JAKE
I notice the roof needs mending.

MARGARET
Have you had anything to eat today?

JAKE
No, ma'am. Not yet.

She gestures he enter the cabin.

INT. KITCHEN. CABIN - DAY

Coffee permeates the kitchen and biscuits sit on the center of the table. Jake quickly glances at the cabin's humble surroundings, then stares at a photo.

MARGARET
Sit down.

JAKE
Thank you.

Awkward silences are exchanged between them as Margaret sets a plate of fried chicken, biscuits, and a cup of coffee before him.

Margaret
What's your name, son?

JAKE
Jake Hadden.

Margaret's eyes widen as she stumbles. Jake quickly assists her to a chair.

JAKE
Are your all right, maw?

She gazes at him, questioning how he knew she was his mother, then notices a pendant around his neck.

MARGARET
Paw gave you that pendant, didn't he?

JAKE
Right before he died.

MARGARET
Died?

She turns to hide her tears.

MARGARET
I gave it to him years ago when...

As she sobs, Jake reaches for her hand.

JAKE
Don't cry, maw.

MARGARET
I should never have left you behind, son.
Can you forgive me?

He hugs her reassuringly.

JAKE
I know it wasn't easy.

As they embrace,

JAKE
I love you, maw.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

FIDDLE-DEE-DEE

2009-03-02T15:20:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Scarlett - Angelina Jolie (30%)
Mammy - Queen Latifah (36%)
Julie - Reese Witherspoon (40%)
Ashley - Tie between:
Leslie Howard (30%)
Ashton Kutcher (30%)
Rhett - Tie between:
Rhett Butler (30%)
Josh Brolin (30%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. MANSION. POST-CIVIL WAR ATLANTA, GEORGIA - DAY

SCARLETT escorts her new SUITOR to the front door of her mansion.

SUITOR
Don't leave me on tender hooks, Scarlett.

SCARLETT
Fiddle-dee-dee! I'll give you my answer tomorrow.

As MAMMY appears,

SCARLETT
Good day, Mr. Finnegan.

Upon Mr. Finnegan's departure,

MAMMY
Julie Marsden is waiting in the drawing room.

SCARLETT
Thank you, Mammy. Oh, bring in tea and biscuits.

INT. DRAWING ROOM - SAME

JULIE is fondly studying Ashley Wilkes' photo. When Scarlett appears, she sets it back in its rightful place.

SCARLETT
(extending her hand)
It's a pleasure meeting you, Miss Marsden.

MISS MARSDEN
Please. Call me, Julie.

SCARLETT
Are you planning to build a home here in Atlanta, Julie?
I'm not ashamed to say I have the finest Georgia pine.

Mammy enters and sets the tray of tea and biscuits down.

JULIE
Frankly, I've come for your advice.

SCARLETT
Advice?

JULIE
What's your secret?

SCARLETT
(perplexed)
Secret?

JULIE
You've been married three times.
(on verge of tears)
Seems, I'll be an old maid.

SCARLETT
Fiddle-dee-dee, Julie.

JULIE
Fiddle-dee-dee? That's the secret?

Before Scarlett replies, ASHLEY WILKES stumbles in.

ASHLEY
There you are, Scarlett. I rushed over to tell you...

He stops abruptly at the sight of Julie.

ASHLEY
Hello.

JULIE
(sensually)
Fiddle-dee-dee.

As she pours herself a cup of tea,

ASHLEY
Let me help you.

Scarlett watches on, aghast.

SCARLETT
(in rapid exchange)
Fiddle-dee-dee.

On cue, Ashley stops pouring to tend to Scarlett.

JULIE
(competetively)
Fiddle-dee-dee, Ashley.

He turns to Julie, smiling.

RHETT BUTLER barges in past Mammy.

RHETT
Scarlett, it's just no good. I can't go on without you.

SCARLETT
Rhett!

As Ashley pats Julie's hand,

SCARLETT
Ashley!

RHETT
Once and for all, Scarlett, make up your mind!

SCARLETT
And spoil the fun?

RHETT
(frustrated, turns to Mammy)
Fiddle-dee-dee, Mammy!

MAMMY
(blushing)
Lordy, Mr. Rhett. You is bad!

FADE TO BLACK

HOW MANY REFERENCES TO "GONE WITH THE WIND" HAVE YOU FOUND?
Ten or less? Ten or more?

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Rerun of Z is for Zorro? - thru March 2 (My Apology - Playing Catch-Up!)

2009-02-23T07:16:00.001-08:00

And the winners are:
Zorro - Antonio Banderas (37%)
Lolita - Three-way tie between:
Catherine-Zeta Jones (25%)
Uma Thurman (25%)
Penelope Cruz (25%)
Fray Felipe - Paul Giamatti (57%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. VILLAGE. 1820's LOS ANGELES - DAY

A crowd of PEONS watch SOLDIERS posting a DEAD OR ALIVE Bulletin for the capture of Zorro. Suddenly, a galloping horse flies into the crowd. ZORRO marks his signature Z into the side of the building. Galloping from the opposite direction, another Zorro appears, carving a Z adjacent to the first.

Perplexed, peons and soldiers surround the dismounted Zorros who study one another suspiciously, hands on the hilt of their swords.

Zorro
En garde!

The two dual like devils; each lunging, retreating, circling, lunging, retreating, interminably. Peons are taking a siesta; soldiers are resting against the side of the building; the two Zorros clinging to one another in exhaustion.

FRAY FELIPE appears. As Zorro turns to him, his hat falls releasing locks of long, glistening hair; perspiration clinging to and outlining a sultry, feminine body.

Zorro
Lolita?

Lolita drops her sword then sensually straightens her hair.

LOLITA
Ah, exhilerating!
(amused)
Not Lolita, but Z!

Peons stir; soldiers scratch their heads. Smiling seductively, she steps closely towards Zorro. She caresses his face then rips off his mask, revealing Zorro's true identity.

FRAY FELIPE
Diego?

LOLITA
Yes, it is Diego!

DIEGO
Why Lolita? Why would you do this to me?

LOLITA
Because I'm the true Zorro! Tell them!

Diego studies the questioning crowd.

DIEGO
(with bowed head)
Yes. It is true.

LOLITA
Ha ha ha! No one can defeat Z!

Another Zorro appears, gallops passed Lolita, and scoops her up onto his horse. They disappear into the sunset.

DIEGO
Z is for Zorro?

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

The Telephone Number

2009-02-16T09:24:00.000-08:00

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM. APARTMENT - NIGHT

MIKE frantically fingers the contents of his wallet.

MIKE
Where is that card? I finally have the
courage to call her and I can't find it!

He holds his wallet upside down, watching the waterfall of its contents cascade to his unmade bed.

MIKE
It was blue!

For the next half hour he inspects each item, discarding the unnecessary. Still, no blue business card. Despondent, he falls onto his bed; the loss of the card summing up his chaotic life.

MIKE
Think, Mike. Think.

He closes his eyes and concentrates. The first three numbers leap before him as he'd studied her number countless times. But the last four. Just as a child repeats the alphabet to reach that elusive letter, so he tried with numbers.

MIKE
One, two, three... It's three!

He scrambles for a notepad and proceeds until seven digits stare back at him; the telephone number he swore he had all along. His digital clock blares eleven o'clock.

MIKE
It's now or never!

As he dials, he visualizes the tall, slender blonde in her red, slinky dress flirting over a Martini.

MIKE
But I'm not in her league.

As the phone rings, he reminds himself that he wasn't bad looking, and how often he was told the glasses made him look like Clark Kent.

MIKE
Yeah, just as clumsy, too.
(a woman answers)
Oh, hello?

WOMAN (OFFSCREEN)
Hello?

MIKE
Mary?

MARY (OS)
Yes?

MIKE
Um. This is Mike. You may not remember
me since it's been...

MARY (OS)
(surprised)
I didn't think you'd ever call.

MIKE
(soaring)
Would you like to go out for dinner?
You would? I mean, Saturday? Seven thirty?
Sure, I know where it is. See you then, Mary.
Good night, Mary.

Mike dances around his bed, then collapses onto it, grinning.

A WEEK LATER

Mike rushes haphazardly, changing his Hanes underwear at least a dozen times. He would be late if he didn't step up his already frenetic pace.

INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

Mike follows the maitre d' who escorts him to a cozy table in the dimly lit corner at which sits a lovely, bespectacled woman.

MARY
(adjusting her glasses)
Mike?

MIKE
(mimicking her)
Mary?

As the excitement and anticipation hisses from his ego, Mary grins at him.

MARY
(gaily)
This is quite amusing.

As Mike looks at her, sheepishly,

MARY
(encouraging)
Obviously, there's been a little mistake,
but it doesn't mean we can't make the
best of it. What do you think?

MIKE
(grinning)
Sure.

After ordering a round of wine, he shares what had happened. Mary's LAUGHTER is contagious. The hours fly by. When they realize they're the last couple in the restaurant, they exchange awkward silences.

MIKE
Mary, I'd love to see you again.

MARY
So would I, Mike. But under one
condition.

MIKE
Which is?

MARY
(smiling)
You give me your telephone number.

MIKE
Agreed.

INT./EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT

As they walk into the brisk night, Mary's hair bounces in sync with Mike's newfound spring in his step.

MIKE
Am I glad I lost that business card!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Message in a Bottle

2009-02-08T13:17:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
KATHLEEN - Tie between Kate Winslet & Andie MacDowell (30%)
JAKE - Tie between Hugh Grant, Edward Burns, Jude Law (20%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. OCEAN SHORELINE - DAY

Bundled up, carrying a bottle containing a message, a twenty-year old WOMAN throws it into the ocean.

YEARS LATER

EXT. OCEAN SHORELINE. BRITAIN - DAY

Two MEN are walking along a windy, cold beach. A bottle protrudes from the sand, grabbing their attention.

JAKE
Hmmm.

Bending to pick it up, he examines it.

JAKE
There's a message.

Plucking its contents, he unfolds what appears to be a letter. His friend picks up an accompanying photograph which falls to the sand.

INSERT MESSAGE

Today is Valentine's Day in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I believe in destiny, and so, I'm throwing caution and my heart to the wind and will wait for the man who holds this message in his hands. My name is Kathleen Donovan. I'm 20 and have enclosed a photograph. I will be waiting for you. Kathleen

BACK TO SCENE

As he studies the photograph,

JAKE
She's lovely.

FRIEND
(in Scottish brogue)
And probably weird or daft with five kids.

JAKE
I dunno. The date reads October 14, 2001.

FRIEND
Which would make her...

JAKE
Twenty eight.

FRIEND
C'mon, Jake. Toss it back.

JAKE
She's waited eight years.

FRIEND
So, what's it to you?

JAKE
I dunno.

INT. HOME. CAPE COD - NIGHT

KATHLEEN is listening to light music while clearing dinner dishes from the dining room table. There's a KNOCK on her door.

She straightens her loosely bound hair and shrugs off noted splashes of paint on her sweatshirt and jeans. When she opens the door, Jake stands before her in anticipation, holding a package, then smiles.

JAKE
Kathleen?

She nods, smiling, knowing instantly it was the man she had been waiting for for eight long years. Gently,

KATHLEEN
Come in.

Jake doesn't say a word as he excitedly observes the freshly painted canvases.

JAKE
Are they yours?

Kathleen nods.

JAKE
I have something which belongs to you.
May I?

Wiping away tears of elation, Kathleen watches him as he walks to the dining room table and opens the package containing the bottle. As he hands it to her,

JAKE
There's a message in it.

Affectionately glancing at him, she carefully removes it.

INSERT MESSAGE

I'm following my heart and it goes to Kathleen.

BACK TO SCENE

JAKE
You see, I believe in destiny too.

As she falls into his arms,

JAKE
Happy Valentine's Day, Kathleen.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

JOE CAN'T WAIT

2009-01-31T21:28:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
Joe Pendleton - Tie between Warren Beatty (37%) & Jude Law (37%)
Mr. Jordan - Jack Nicholson (50%)
Cheerleader - Tie between Reese Witherspoon (37%) & Cameron Diaz (37%)
Thank you for voting!

BACKSTORY

Quarterback, JOE PENDLETON, is looking forward to leading his team to the Super Bowl when he is involved in a terrible collision with a truck. An over-anxious guardian angel on his first assignment plucks Joe out of his body early, believing his death is imminent. Joe arrives in the afterlife.

He refuses to believe that his time is up. Upon investigation, the mysterious MR. JORDAN discovers that Joe's not destined to die until much later. Unfortunately, Joe's body has already been cremated so a new body must be found.

FADE IN:

INT. RAYMOND JAMES STADIUM. TAMPA, FLORIDA - DAY

JOE PENDLETON and MR. JORDAN stand on the sidelines of Super Bowl XLIII; Joe WHISTLING exhuberantly.

JOE
Ever since I can remember, all I've ever
wanted was to be a quarterback.

MR. JORDAN
You may get lucky, but I wouldn't count on
it, Joe.

Early in the game, a quarterback is tackled.

JOE
This is it!

As Joe runs to the downed quarterback, he rises and joins his teammates. Joe GRUMBLES, watching the teams go head to head. Soon the opposing team's quarterback goes down.

JOE
This is it!

However, the quarterback collects himself and dashes towards his team; Joe left stunned and in a state of exasperation.

This dance of quarterbacks falling and Joe's attempts to enter their bodies repeats for hours. Aching and exhausted, he hobbles to Mr. Jordan, then collapses.

JOE
Take me, God. I'm ready.

MR. JORDAN
Don't worry, Joe. The next will be yours.

JOE
(whispers)
I can't wait.

When the game ends, THOUSANDS rise and CHEER in exaltation; except one. A CHEERLEADER faints.

MR. JORDAN
There.

Painfully following Mr. Jordan's glance at the cheerleaders,

JOE
Beautiful. But I can't move let alone
make a pass.

MR. JORDAN
The stretcher is nearing. Now, Joe. From
here on, you won't remember anything
that's happened.

As he slowly rises, he nods.

JOE
Where is it?

MR. JORDAN
Behind you. Good bye, Joe.

As he collapses onto the stretcher,

JOE
So long, and thanks.

As Joe disappears, a sprightly CHEERLEADER sits up. Examining her surroundings,

CHEERLEADER
Where am I?

She climbs off and bumps into Mr. Jordan.

CHEERLEADER
Pardon me.

Mr. Jordan stares at her.

CHEERLEADER
Wasn't it the most exciting game ever?
I thought I fainted, but, here I am!

MR. JORDAN
Joe?

She looks around quizzically. Clutching his arm,

CHEERLEADER
C'mon, cupcake. Let's celebrate.

MR. JORDAN
But, I'm a man!

CHEERLEADER
I'll say!

As he breaks free and steps back,

MR. JORDAN
Joe, I've got to leave.

As he steps up his pace,

CHEERLEADER
Where are you going?

Mr. Jordan runs for the hills,

CHEERLEADER
The night's young!

Joe, er, the cheerleader on his heels.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Do You Believe Fortune Cookies?

2009-01-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

And the winners are:
John Cusack (50%) as Josh
Debra Messing (60%) as Elaine
Luke Wilson (40%) as Paul
Helen Hunt (40%) as Susan
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT./INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT. CHINATOWN - NIGHT

Reveling, four FRIENDS enter a Chinese restaurant after watching the Chinese New Year Parade. As they're escorted to their table by the MAITRE D',

PAUL
How long have we kept up this tradition?

SUSAN
Since law school.

JOSH
I have to come clean. My favorite part of
a Chinese dinner are the fortune cookies.

ELAINE
(smiling)
Mine too, Josh. They're fun.

PAUL
I had a few that were pretty right on.

SUSAN
C'mon, Paul. Who takes them seriously?
They're purely entertaining.

ELAINE
Once I had one that said a woman who
seeks to be equal to men lack ambition.

PAUL
Ouch!

JOSH
How true is this? The greatest danger
could be your own stupidity.

SUSAN
(laughing)
Or he who laughs last is laughing at you.

JOSH
(smiling)
How about a closed mouth gathers no feet.

PAUL
Whoever thinks up these sayings should
get some kind of literary award.

ELAINE
I've got an idea. Since it's Josh's birthday,
why don't we give him our fortune cookies.

JOSH
Thanks, Elaine.

Josh and Elaine exchange loving glances. When the cookies arrive,

SUSAN
Hurry, Josh. What do they say?

He carefully pulls out each fortune and reads them aloud.

JOSH
A secret admirer will soon send
you a sign of affection.

Elaine smiles. Reading the next,

JOSH
The one you love is closer than you think.

Paul and Susan glance at Josh and Elaine, grinning.

PAUL
Is the universe trying to say something?

ELAINE
And the last one?

JOSH
One who admires you greatly is hidden
before your eyes.

ALL
Oooooh.

Josh rises, kneels and holds Elaine's hand.

JOSH
In front of our dear friends, will you
marry me, Elaine?

As she bows her head, she notices her fortune cookie.

ELAINE
Oh, I forgot to give you mine.

He quickly pulls the fortune and reads,

JOSH
Do not marry man holding your fortune.

ELAINE
(whimpers)
Why not?

SUSAN
For that, you'll need a crystal ball.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/