And the winners are:
Columbus - Tie: Marlon Brando (35%)
Antonio Banderas (35%)
Captain Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp (80%)
Davy Jones - Peter Lorre (45%)
Teacher - Reese Witherspoon (50%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS. SANTA MARIA - DAY
In his quarters, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS furiously makes notes after studying compass readings and maps. His pilot, SANCHO RUIZ, enters his quarters.
SANCHO
Sir, you're needed on deck.
COLUMBUS
What is it?
SANCHO
A ship is on the horizon.
EXT. DECK. SANTA MARIA - DAY
Columbus hurries onto the deck. He studies the ship's black hull and sails.
COLUMBUS
It's Sparrow.
SANCHO
Here? Should we stand ready for battle?
COLUMBUS
No, we'll negotiate.
As the Santa Maria and the Black Pearl grow within hearing distance of each other,
COLUMBUS
(shouts)
What brings you to these parts, Sparrow?
CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW
The same as you, Columbus. Spices, silk, a short cut to the Indies.
The ships are parallel; Columbus and Sparrow face-to-face.
COLUMBUS
You'll never find it, Sparrow.
SPARROW
No?
Columbus remains steadfast as Sparrow gestures to his pilot who disappears, then moments later reappears with Island Natives and a chest of booty.
COLUMBUS
Where did you find them?
SPARROW
That is for me to know and for you to find out.
COLUMBUS
Buffoon!
SPARROW
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
Sparrow jumps onto a mast, then steers the ship; speeding ahead.
COLUMBUS
Remain on course.
When land is sighted, the crew notices a fiery glow with billowing smoke; the Black Pearl uneasy in the water.
COLUMBUS
Get ready to land, Sancho.
EXT. ISLAND - NIGHT
The Santa Maria docks adjacent to the Black Pearl. As its crew climbs down, Sparrow and his men are eating fish on leaves, fraternizing with the natives, and worse for drink.
Columbus steps up to Sparrow who salutes Columbus.
COLUMBUS
Let's get back onboard, Sancho.
Sparrow fumbles to his feet.
SPARROW
Come on you bungling idiots.
The Black Pearl is on Santa Maria's hull. When Columbus sights land, he jumps overboard and swims ashore, collapsing.
As Sparrow is about to do the same, DAVY JONES emerges from the water.
SPARROW
Not now, Davy.
DAVY
We've got lots to talk about, Sparrow.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A female TEACHER stands before a classroom of engrossed ten-year olds.
TEACHER
So children, without Davy Jones' help, Columbus may not have discovered the Caribbean Islands.
A girl raises her hand.
TEACHER
Yes, Jane.
JANE
(crying)
But what happened to Johnny Depp?
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Friday, October 10, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Sharing Popcorn with God
And the winners are:
God - James Earl Jones (60%)
Your favorite Paul Newman Film
Three-way tie: The Color of Money (40%)
Somebody Up There Likes Me (40%)
Cool Hand Luke (40%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. CLOUD. HEAVEN - DAY
GOD and a male ANGEL are relaxing and sharing a bowl of popcorn; enjoying film images on a row of small clouds before them.
GOD
This is my favorite part.
INSERT IMAGE: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are on their horses jumping off the cliff into a river.
ANGEL
My favorite too.
(reads the cloud guide)
Looks like there's a marathon today.
GOD
What's next?
ANGEL
The Sting.
Engrossed, CRUNCHING popcorn and gun SHOTS break the silence.
ANGEL
They had a full-proof code which helped them get away with the heist.
GOD
Ah.
A sublime sunset engulfs them; they, too absorbed to notice it and the time.
ANGEL
You've seen it all, haven't you?
GOD
Not Hombre.
The Angel smiles.
GOD
The hypocricies and prejudices!
ANGEL
A fair protrait.
As they begin to reveal themselves, the Angel savors the stars' brilliance, then returns to the guide.
ANGEL
There's a few more in the marathon?
Do you have the time?
GOD
I sure could use the day off.
(beams)
Elizabeth Taylor.
ANGEL
A Cat on the Hot Tin Roof.
(turns to God)
Are you sure you should be watching these?
GOD
Are you suggesting I watch PG-13?
ANGEL
(embarrassed)
No, of course not.
(returns to images)
The Verdict!
GOD
I haven't seen it.
ANGEL
It's about a heavy drinking, down-on-his luck lawyer who makes a come back.
GOD
Good for him.
(glancing at the next cloud)
Hud?
ANGEL
The man with the barbed wire soul.
GOD
Hmmm.
(rises)
I see we're out of popcorn. I'll make dinner.
The Angel watches the serene figure admiringly as He carefully prepares their meal. Upon His return,
ANGEL
God, thanks for having given me a such a blessed life.
GOD
I'd say it was the other way around, Paul.
(sits)
What's next?
PAUL
Absence of Malice.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
God - James Earl Jones (60%)
Your favorite Paul Newman Film
Three-way tie: The Color of Money (40%)
Somebody Up There Likes Me (40%)
Cool Hand Luke (40%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. CLOUD. HEAVEN - DAY
GOD and a male ANGEL are relaxing and sharing a bowl of popcorn; enjoying film images on a row of small clouds before them.
GOD
This is my favorite part.
INSERT IMAGE: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid are on their horses jumping off the cliff into a river.
ANGEL
My favorite too.
(reads the cloud guide)
Looks like there's a marathon today.
GOD
What's next?
ANGEL
The Sting.
Engrossed, CRUNCHING popcorn and gun SHOTS break the silence.
ANGEL
They had a full-proof code which helped them get away with the heist.
GOD
Ah.
A sublime sunset engulfs them; they, too absorbed to notice it and the time.
ANGEL
You've seen it all, haven't you?
GOD
Not Hombre.
The Angel smiles.
GOD
The hypocricies and prejudices!
ANGEL
A fair protrait.
As they begin to reveal themselves, the Angel savors the stars' brilliance, then returns to the guide.
ANGEL
There's a few more in the marathon?
Do you have the time?
GOD
I sure could use the day off.
(beams)
Elizabeth Taylor.
ANGEL
A Cat on the Hot Tin Roof.
(turns to God)
Are you sure you should be watching these?
GOD
Are you suggesting I watch PG-13?
ANGEL
(embarrassed)
No, of course not.
(returns to images)
The Verdict!
GOD
I haven't seen it.
ANGEL
It's about a heavy drinking, down-on-his luck lawyer who makes a come back.
GOD
Good for him.
(glancing at the next cloud)
Hud?
ANGEL
The man with the barbed wire soul.
GOD
Hmmm.
(rises)
I see we're out of popcorn. I'll make dinner.
The Angel watches the serene figure admiringly as He carefully prepares their meal. Upon His return,
ANGEL
God, thanks for having given me a such a blessed life.
GOD
I'd say it was the other way around, Paul.
(sits)
What's next?
PAUL
Absence of Malice.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Longest Date
And the winners are:
Mary - Meg Ryan (57%)
Harry - Bill Murray (42%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. BOARDWALK. ATLANTIC CITY. NEW JERSEY - DAY
On a brisk, September day, a COUPLE on their first date are sitting on a bench watching the waves roll in; each attempting to break the awkward silence.
HARRY
So...
MARY
Did you know Atlantic City's boardwalk is the longest in the world?
HARRY
Yeah. It's beautiful, isn't it?
(turns to Mary)
Can you guess the state with the longest name?
MARY
What is it?
HARRY
Rhode Island.
MARY
(grins)
The smallest state has the longest name?
HARRY
Yep. Its official name is the State of Rhode Island
of Providence Plantations.
MARY
How about the longest movie title?
HARRY
(enjoying the banter)
I give up.
MARY
Night of the Day of Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return
of the Revenge of the Terror of the attack of the Evil, Mutant,
Alien, Flesh-Eating, Hellbound Zombified Living Dead Part 2:
In shocking 2-D.
HARRY
Wow!
Suddenly, a wave washes a huge object ashore. Nearly everyone on the boardwalk rush to the shoreline, craning their necks to get a glimpse.
HARRY
It looks like a fish of some kind.
MARY
Yes, it's the humahumanukUnakuapuaa.
HARRY
(laughing)
Right. You're a brilliant marine biologist.
MARY
(smiling)
All this bantering has made me hungry.
HARRY
(rises, extends his hand)
I know the perfect spot. But I can't resist.
Pink Floyd has the coolest, longest song title.
Mary shakes her head agreeably as they walk along the boardwalk towards the parking lot.
HARRY
Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together
in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict'.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
In the lot, one car takes up five parking spots.
HARRY
Unbelievable. A Duesenberg!
MARY
Yes, the longest Duesenberg ever made.
HARRY
How did you know?
MARY
It's a loaner from the museum. I admit, it's a bit over the top.
(tenderly)
But you're worth it.
Smitten, he rests on the opened car door.
HARRY
Let's make this our longest date, Mary.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Mary - Meg Ryan (57%)
Harry - Bill Murray (42%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. BOARDWALK. ATLANTIC CITY. NEW JERSEY - DAY
On a brisk, September day, a COUPLE on their first date are sitting on a bench watching the waves roll in; each attempting to break the awkward silence.
HARRY
So...
MARY
Did you know Atlantic City's boardwalk is the longest in the world?
HARRY
Yeah. It's beautiful, isn't it?
(turns to Mary)
Can you guess the state with the longest name?
MARY
What is it?
HARRY
Rhode Island.
MARY
(grins)
The smallest state has the longest name?
HARRY
Yep. Its official name is the State of Rhode Island
of Providence Plantations.
MARY
How about the longest movie title?
HARRY
(enjoying the banter)
I give up.
MARY
Night of the Day of Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return
of the Revenge of the Terror of the attack of the Evil, Mutant,
Alien, Flesh-Eating, Hellbound Zombified Living Dead Part 2:
In shocking 2-D.
HARRY
Wow!
Suddenly, a wave washes a huge object ashore. Nearly everyone on the boardwalk rush to the shoreline, craning their necks to get a glimpse.
HARRY
It looks like a fish of some kind.
MARY
Yes, it's the humahumanukUnakuapuaa.
HARRY
(laughing)
Right. You're a brilliant marine biologist.
MARY
(smiling)
All this bantering has made me hungry.
HARRY
(rises, extends his hand)
I know the perfect spot. But I can't resist.
Pink Floyd has the coolest, longest song title.
Mary shakes her head agreeably as they walk along the boardwalk towards the parking lot.
HARRY
Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together
in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict'.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
In the lot, one car takes up five parking spots.
HARRY
Unbelievable. A Duesenberg!
MARY
Yes, the longest Duesenberg ever made.
HARRY
How did you know?
MARY
It's a loaner from the museum. I admit, it's a bit over the top.
(tenderly)
But you're worth it.
Smitten, he rests on the opened car door.
HARRY
Let's make this our longest date, Mary.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Friday, September 19, 2008
GODIVAS
And the winners are:
Lady Godiva - Nicole Kidman (28%)
Cocoa Chanel - Leslie Caron (41%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. MILLINERY SHOP. EARLY 1900's PARIS - DAY
In the workroom of her shop, COCOA CHANEL painstakingly creates an evening gown by hand; each stitch a labor of love. Her ASSISTANT appears.
ASSISTANT
A very important patron is here to see you.
Cocoa abandons the gown to tend to this mysterious patron. As she approaches a lovely NOBLEWOMAN,
COCOA
Ah, Madam Godiva. Bonjour. How may I assist you?
LADY GODIVA
(fully clothed)
Bonjour Cocoa. I need something very different for a special occasion.
COCOA
Of course. What is the occasion? A ball, the theatre...
LADY GODIVA
I'm to ride on a horse naked through the marketplace of my realm...
for a very worthy cause of course.
COCOA
(taken aback)
To be naked, it must be.
LADY GODIVA
Isn't it wicked?
COCOA
(shakes her head)
But Madam, I clothe, not unclothe.
LADY GODIVA
There must be something you can do.
Cocoa ponders her dilemma earnestly and sincerely. Her glance falls on a stack of pretty boxes. She rushes to the stack, scoops up a box, then returns.
COCOA
May I make a suggestion?
LADY GODIVA
Yes, of course.
COCOA
Give these to the people as you ride passed. You will have pleased those you shock.
LADY GODIVA
(perplexed)
With chocolates?
COCOA
Godivas, Madam. You will be the crown jewel.
LADY GODIVA
Yes, I see. I shall be as tempting as chocolate.
COCOA
Champagne to celebrate?
LADY GODIVA
Thank you.
As they sip champagne and share another box of Godivas,
COCOA
Madam, may I ask? What is this cause?
LADY GODIVA
To lower my people's taxes.
COCOA
(nods)
A very noble cause. But why naked?
LADY GODIVA
It was my husband's idea. He said he would lower them if I rode...
COCOA
Your husband.
(reaches behind her)
Here's another box of Godivas, just for him.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Lady Godiva - Nicole Kidman (28%)
Cocoa Chanel - Leslie Caron (41%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. MILLINERY SHOP. EARLY 1900's PARIS - DAY
In the workroom of her shop, COCOA CHANEL painstakingly creates an evening gown by hand; each stitch a labor of love. Her ASSISTANT appears.
ASSISTANT
A very important patron is here to see you.
Cocoa abandons the gown to tend to this mysterious patron. As she approaches a lovely NOBLEWOMAN,
COCOA
Ah, Madam Godiva. Bonjour. How may I assist you?
LADY GODIVA
(fully clothed)
Bonjour Cocoa. I need something very different for a special occasion.
COCOA
Of course. What is the occasion? A ball, the theatre...
LADY GODIVA
I'm to ride on a horse naked through the marketplace of my realm...
for a very worthy cause of course.
COCOA
(taken aback)
To be naked, it must be.
LADY GODIVA
Isn't it wicked?
COCOA
(shakes her head)
But Madam, I clothe, not unclothe.
LADY GODIVA
There must be something you can do.
Cocoa ponders her dilemma earnestly and sincerely. Her glance falls on a stack of pretty boxes. She rushes to the stack, scoops up a box, then returns.
COCOA
May I make a suggestion?
LADY GODIVA
Yes, of course.
COCOA
Give these to the people as you ride passed. You will have pleased those you shock.
LADY GODIVA
(perplexed)
With chocolates?
COCOA
Godivas, Madam. You will be the crown jewel.
LADY GODIVA
Yes, I see. I shall be as tempting as chocolate.
COCOA
Champagne to celebrate?
LADY GODIVA
Thank you.
As they sip champagne and share another box of Godivas,
COCOA
Madam, may I ask? What is this cause?
LADY GODIVA
To lower my people's taxes.
COCOA
(nods)
A very noble cause. But why naked?
LADY GODIVA
It was my husband's idea. He said he would lower them if I rode...
COCOA
Your husband.
(reaches behind her)
Here's another box of Godivas, just for him.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Friday, September 12, 2008
Where's Nessy?
And the winners are:
Nestor - Marty Feldman (37%)
Skip - Sean Connery (52%)
Jane - Kate Winslet (41%)
Mermaid - Uma Thurman (58%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. DOCK. LOCH NESS - DAY
A MAN, dressed in full scuba gear, runs toward the end of the dock.
As he watches the bathyscaphe submerge,
NESTOR
Wait! Wait!
(catches breath)
I'm only a few minutes late...
He considers his options, adjusts his mask, then jumps into the water.
INT. BATHYSCAPHE - DAY
While the CAPTAIN steers at the navigation porthole, his female CO-PILOT peers through the observation porthole.
JANE
The water's very murky.
SKIP
Jane, the luck I'm feeling today!
CUT TO:
Nestor swims down towards the porthole of the bathyscaphe. Jane blinks at the object swimming towards her.
His face; a water-blown, disfigured image with bulging eyes, peers back at Jane. She GASPS at the sight.
JANE
What is that?
Skip joins Jane. Nestor's head bobs up and down, attempting to communicate they resurface.
SKIP
I've never seen anything like it!
(looks around)
Nestor?
No answer.
SKIP
Nestor, wake up, will you?
Frustrated, Skip disappears upstairs while Jane continues to observe the creature bobbing up and down. Skip returns.
SKIP
He's nowhere to be found!
JANE
Never mind. I think we should catch this thing.
SKIP
Right.
Skip revs the propellor and lowers the towing fair lead. Nestor panics at the sight of the hook and swims away.
The chase is on. Nestor weaves through the Loch like an eel, the bathyscaphe on his tail.
Some time later, exhaustion sets in. Nestor stops swimming, feeling faint. He observes his tank to be low on oxygen. He has no choice but to wait for the bathyscaphe to lead him to the surface.
Suddenly, a bright light engulfs him. A beautiful MERMAID appears.
MERMAID
(sensually)
I'm Nessy.
Nestor faints in her arms.
EXT. LOCH NESS - DAY
The bathyscaphe surfaces. When Jane and Skip appear on the bridge, they're shocked to see Nestor, unconscious, dangling on the hook.
SKIP
Quick! Lower the lead!
They carefully free Nestor, gently set him onto the bridge, and immediately apply CPR.
He stirs, then looks up at Jane and Skip with huge, bulging eyes.
NESTOR
Where's Nessy?
He hears SPLASHES in the water. When he turns, a mermaid is in the distance, diving in and out of the loch.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Nestor - Marty Feldman (37%)
Skip - Sean Connery (52%)
Jane - Kate Winslet (41%)
Mermaid - Uma Thurman (58%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. DOCK. LOCH NESS - DAY
A MAN, dressed in full scuba gear, runs toward the end of the dock.
As he watches the bathyscaphe submerge,
NESTOR
Wait! Wait!
(catches breath)
I'm only a few minutes late...
He considers his options, adjusts his mask, then jumps into the water.
INT. BATHYSCAPHE - DAY
While the CAPTAIN steers at the navigation porthole, his female CO-PILOT peers through the observation porthole.
JANE
The water's very murky.
SKIP
Jane, the luck I'm feeling today!
CUT TO:
Nestor swims down towards the porthole of the bathyscaphe. Jane blinks at the object swimming towards her.
His face; a water-blown, disfigured image with bulging eyes, peers back at Jane. She GASPS at the sight.
JANE
What is that?
Skip joins Jane. Nestor's head bobs up and down, attempting to communicate they resurface.
SKIP
I've never seen anything like it!
(looks around)
Nestor?
No answer.
SKIP
Nestor, wake up, will you?
Frustrated, Skip disappears upstairs while Jane continues to observe the creature bobbing up and down. Skip returns.
SKIP
He's nowhere to be found!
JANE
Never mind. I think we should catch this thing.
SKIP
Right.
Skip revs the propellor and lowers the towing fair lead. Nestor panics at the sight of the hook and swims away.
The chase is on. Nestor weaves through the Loch like an eel, the bathyscaphe on his tail.
Some time later, exhaustion sets in. Nestor stops swimming, feeling faint. He observes his tank to be low on oxygen. He has no choice but to wait for the bathyscaphe to lead him to the surface.
Suddenly, a bright light engulfs him. A beautiful MERMAID appears.
MERMAID
(sensually)
I'm Nessy.
Nestor faints in her arms.
EXT. LOCH NESS - DAY
The bathyscaphe surfaces. When Jane and Skip appear on the bridge, they're shocked to see Nestor, unconscious, dangling on the hook.
SKIP
Quick! Lower the lead!
They carefully free Nestor, gently set him onto the bridge, and immediately apply CPR.
He stirs, then looks up at Jane and Skip with huge, bulging eyes.
NESTOR
Where's Nessy?
He hears SPLASHES in the water. When he turns, a mermaid is in the distance, diving in and out of the loch.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Friday, September 5, 2008
Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner
And the winners are:
Mr. Buck - George Clooney (35%)
George - George Burns (61%)
Gracie - Gracie Allen (58%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. BLACK JACK TABLE. CASINO - NIGHT
A dashing MAN, cool, calm and collected, gambles and wins thousands of dollars. A crowd of SPECTATORS agape, surround him. A stunning WOMAN stands beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder.
A COCKTAIL WAITRESS appears.
WAITRESS
A drink, sir?
MR. BUCK
(without looking up)
A martini...shaken, not stirred.
She nods, disappears passed the crowds. A SENIOR COUPLE appears, breaking the wall of spectators to their surprise. The DEALER and Mr. Buck remain poker-faced.
GRACIE
I would love that chicken dinner special, George.
Five dollars just for tonight.
GEORGE
And you shall have it, Gracie.
The waitress returns.
WAITRESS
Here you are, sir. A martini...shaken, not stirred.
Mr. Buck hands her a one-hundred dollar chip.
GEORGE
That sounds good.
(waving to the waitress)
Can I get one of those?
The waitress nods, disappears.
GRACIE
Good luck, George.
GEORGE
Thank ya, darlin.
DEALER
Place your bets.
As George places his twenty dollar chip, Mr. Buck moves towers of chips worth thousands into the betting circle.
GRACIE
Look, George. Aren't the colors pretty?
The crowd GIGGLES; Mr. Buck sips his martini.
The dealer deals Mr. Buck a Jack of Hearts; George, a King of Clubs; and, himself, a hole card. He then deals Mr. Buck a Ten of Diamonds; George, an Ace of Spades; and, himself, a Nine of Hearts facing up. Mr. Buck's jaw drops as he glares at George.
CROWD
Ooooh.
The dealer reveals his hole card...an Eight of Spades.
CROWD
(in unison)
21! Winner winner, chicken dinner!
As they pat George on the back, he looks perplexed.
GRACIE
(embracing him)
You won, George! You won!
As the dealer pushes George's winning chips towards him, Mr. Buck clutches his martini glass so tight, it breaks. He then collapses forward onto the table.
DEALER
Mr. Buck?
MR. BUCK
I lost everything...my Maserati, my villa, my stocks.
Everything. Even my girl just left.
(his head buried in his hands)
What am I going to do?
GRACIE
(sympathetically)
Would a chicken dinner help?
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Mr. Buck - George Clooney (35%)
George - George Burns (61%)
Gracie - Gracie Allen (58%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. BLACK JACK TABLE. CASINO - NIGHT
A dashing MAN, cool, calm and collected, gambles and wins thousands of dollars. A crowd of SPECTATORS agape, surround him. A stunning WOMAN stands beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder.
A COCKTAIL WAITRESS appears.
WAITRESS
A drink, sir?
MR. BUCK
(without looking up)
A martini...shaken, not stirred.
She nods, disappears passed the crowds. A SENIOR COUPLE appears, breaking the wall of spectators to their surprise. The DEALER and Mr. Buck remain poker-faced.
GRACIE
I would love that chicken dinner special, George.
Five dollars just for tonight.
GEORGE
And you shall have it, Gracie.
The waitress returns.
WAITRESS
Here you are, sir. A martini...shaken, not stirred.
Mr. Buck hands her a one-hundred dollar chip.
GEORGE
That sounds good.
(waving to the waitress)
Can I get one of those?
The waitress nods, disappears.
GRACIE
Good luck, George.
GEORGE
Thank ya, darlin.
DEALER
Place your bets.
As George places his twenty dollar chip, Mr. Buck moves towers of chips worth thousands into the betting circle.
GRACIE
Look, George. Aren't the colors pretty?
The crowd GIGGLES; Mr. Buck sips his martini.
The dealer deals Mr. Buck a Jack of Hearts; George, a King of Clubs; and, himself, a hole card. He then deals Mr. Buck a Ten of Diamonds; George, an Ace of Spades; and, himself, a Nine of Hearts facing up. Mr. Buck's jaw drops as he glares at George.
CROWD
Ooooh.
The dealer reveals his hole card...an Eight of Spades.
CROWD
(in unison)
21! Winner winner, chicken dinner!
As they pat George on the back, he looks perplexed.
GRACIE
(embracing him)
You won, George! You won!
As the dealer pushes George's winning chips towards him, Mr. Buck clutches his martini glass so tight, it breaks. He then collapses forward onto the table.
DEALER
Mr. Buck?
MR. BUCK
I lost everything...my Maserati, my villa, my stocks.
Everything. Even my girl just left.
(his head buried in his hands)
What am I going to do?
GRACIE
(sympathetically)
Would a chicken dinner help?
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Friday, August 29, 2008
Eve's Got Mail
And the winners are:
EVE - Diane Keaton (33%)
ADAM - Cary Grant (42%)
ABRA - Bette Midler (53%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. DEN. HOME IN GARDEN OF EDEN - NIGHT
ADAM is reading the newspaper on the sofa while EVE types furiously away at the computer on the desk nearby.
ADAM
Are you still blogging?
EVE
I just have a few more comments to reply.
ADAM
I'm tired, Eve.
EVE
Why don't you go on ahead, my love.
I'll be there in a few minutes.
Adam neatly folds the newspaper and sets it on the end table. Rising,
ADAM
How about some warm milk?
EVE
That would be lovely.
Eve watches Adam disappear into the kitchen then returns to the computer.
INSERT EXCHANGES BETWEEN EVE AND ABRA ON THE COMPUTER.
EVE
Abra, our relationship is in the Dead Sea!
It's been the same routine for hundreds of years.
ABRA
But, Eve, you're the most revered couple in history.
People worship you.
EVE
(flustered)
I don't want to be revered or worshipped.
I just want Adam to look at me the way he did on the day God created us.
Is that too much to ask?!
ABRA
All right, let me think.
Have you ever tried pasties?
EVE
Abra, I invented pasties. Leaves. Remember?
ABRA
True. I've got it! A love potion!
EVE
You've got to do better than that...
Eve stops, frozen, as Adam sets her glass of warm milk beside the computer. She manages to press the Escape key without him noticing, then turns to him.
EVE
Thank you, dear.
ADAM
So, all done?
EVE
Wha...? Oh, yes. Yes.
She picks up the glass of milk and sips. A message pops up on the computer screen.
ADAM
Are you feeling all right, Eve?
EVE
Yes, of course.
(laughs nervously)
Why wouldn't I?
ADAM
Because Abra just sent you a message to take Jasmine, Neroli, Lavender, Myrtle, and Ylang Ylang. Then Tangerine, Bergamot and Blood Orange with Zdravetz, Sandalwood, Nutmeg and Ginger wrapped in Vanilla, Cinnamon and Cardamon.
Disbelievingly, Eve watches Adam's expression transform. He grins boyishly.
ADAM
Eve, my darling, my love...
Eve turns the computer off, then turns to Adam, beaming. She leads him by the hand up the stairs. Under her breath,
EVE
(sighs)
God bless its pentium chip heart.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
EVE - Diane Keaton (33%)
ADAM - Cary Grant (42%)
ABRA - Bette Midler (53%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. DEN. HOME IN GARDEN OF EDEN - NIGHT
ADAM is reading the newspaper on the sofa while EVE types furiously away at the computer on the desk nearby.
ADAM
Are you still blogging?
EVE
I just have a few more comments to reply.
ADAM
I'm tired, Eve.
EVE
Why don't you go on ahead, my love.
I'll be there in a few minutes.
Adam neatly folds the newspaper and sets it on the end table. Rising,
ADAM
How about some warm milk?
EVE
That would be lovely.
Eve watches Adam disappear into the kitchen then returns to the computer.
INSERT EXCHANGES BETWEEN EVE AND ABRA ON THE COMPUTER.
EVE
Abra, our relationship is in the Dead Sea!
It's been the same routine for hundreds of years.
ABRA
But, Eve, you're the most revered couple in history.
People worship you.
EVE
(flustered)
I don't want to be revered or worshipped.
I just want Adam to look at me the way he did on the day God created us.
Is that too much to ask?!
ABRA
All right, let me think.
Have you ever tried pasties?
EVE
Abra, I invented pasties. Leaves. Remember?
ABRA
True. I've got it! A love potion!
EVE
You've got to do better than that...
Eve stops, frozen, as Adam sets her glass of warm milk beside the computer. She manages to press the Escape key without him noticing, then turns to him.
EVE
Thank you, dear.
ADAM
So, all done?
EVE
Wha...? Oh, yes. Yes.
She picks up the glass of milk and sips. A message pops up on the computer screen.
ADAM
Are you feeling all right, Eve?
EVE
Yes, of course.
(laughs nervously)
Why wouldn't I?
ADAM
Because Abra just sent you a message to take Jasmine, Neroli, Lavender, Myrtle, and Ylang Ylang. Then Tangerine, Bergamot and Blood Orange with Zdravetz, Sandalwood, Nutmeg and Ginger wrapped in Vanilla, Cinnamon and Cardamon.
Disbelievingly, Eve watches Adam's expression transform. He grins boyishly.
ADAM
Eve, my darling, my love...
Eve turns the computer off, then turns to Adam, beaming. She leads him by the hand up the stairs. Under her breath,
EVE
(sighs)
God bless its pentium chip heart.
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
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