FIDDLE-DEE-DEE - An encore presentation

And the winners are:
SCARLETT - Vivien Leigh (50%)
MAMMY - Tie between Hattie McDaniel and Queen Latifah (50%)
JULIE - Jennifer Aniston (60%)
ASHLEY - Leslie Howard (50%)
RHETT - Clark Gable (66%)

Thank you for voting!


FADE IN:

INT. MANSION. POST-CIVIL WAR ATLANTA, GEORGIA - DAY

SCARLETT escorts her new SUITOR to the front door of her mansion.

SUITOR
Don't leave me on tender hooks, Scarlett.

SCARLETT
Fiddle-dee-dee! I'll give you my answer tomorrow.

As MAMMY appears,

SCARLETT
Good day, Mr. Finnegan.

Upon his departure,

MAMMY
Miss Marsden is waiting in the drawing room.

SCARLETT
Bring in tea and biscuits, Mammy.


INT. DRAWING ROOM - SAME

JULIE MARSDEN is admiring Ashley Wilkes' photo. When Scarlett appears, she sets it back in its rightful place.

SCARLETT
(extending her hand)
It's so very nice to meet you, Miss Marsden.

MISS MARSDEN
Please -- call me Julie.

SCARLETT
Are you planning on building a home here
in Atlanta, Julie? I'm not ashamed to say
I have the finest Georgia pine.

Mammy enters and sets the tray of tea and biscuits down.

JULIE
Frankly, I've come for your advice.

SCARLETT
Advice?

JULIE
What's your secret?

SCARLETT
(perplexed)
Secret?

JULIE
You've been married three times.
(sarcastically)
Seems I'll be an old maid.

SCARLETT
Fiddle-dee-dee, Julie.

JULIE
Fiddle-dee-dee? That's the secret?

Before Scarlett replies, ASHLEY stumbles in.

ASHLEY
There you are, Scarlett. I rushed over to tell you...

He stops abruptly at the sight of Julie.

ASHLEY
Hello.

JULIE
(sensually)
Fiddle-dee-dee.

As she pours herself a cup of tea,

ASHLEY
Let me help you.

Scarlett watches on, aghast.

SCARLETT
(in rapid exchange)
Fiddle-dee-dee.

On cue, Ashley stops pouring to tend to Scarlett.

JULIE
(competitively)
Fiddle-dee-dee, Ashley.

RHETT BUTLER barges in past Mammy.

RHETT
Scarlett, it's just no good. I can't go on without you.

SCARLETT
Rhett!

As Ashley pats Julie's hand,

SCARLETT
Ashley!

RHETT
Once and for all, Scarlett, make up your mind!

SCARLETT
And spoil the fun?

RHETT
(frustrated, turns to Mammy)
Fiddle-dee-dee, Mammy!

MAMMY
(blushing)
Lordy, Mr. Rhett. You is bad!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

How many references to the film, Gone with the Wind, can you find?

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

JACK AND JILL - An encore presentation

And the winners are:
Jack - Johnny Depp (80%)
Jill - Kate Winslet (80%)
Thank you for voting!


FADE IN:

EXT. FOOT OF HILL - DAY

JACK and JILL climbed up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown...

Lying on the grass, distorted images of trees beneath the sky come into view as Jack slowly regains consciousness.

JILL
Jack, can you hear me?

Gingerly touching his bruised head, Jack sits up.

JACK
What happened?

JILL
You broke your crown again.

JACK
My crown? I do not wear a crown.

Studying his clothing, then feeling his face,

JACK
Where is my mask? And my cape?

JILL
Mask? Cape?

JACK
Have we had the pleasure of meeting, Senorita?

JILL
We've only climbed that hill fetching water for
what seems like an eternity.

JACK
Me? Fetch water?

JILL
Jack...

JACK
And why do you insist on calling me Jack? I am
Don Juan deMarco.

JILL
Who?

As he stands upright,

JACK
The greatest lover in the world.

JILL
(rolls her eyes)
If we don't fetch the water, we'll be sacked. Not
now, of all times.

JACK
My dear Senorita. You must not fret.

JILL
It takes more than love to pay the bills.

JACK
So young and so cynical. Do not underestimate
the power of love. And, it just so happens -- I am
rich.

JILL
And where, prey tell, is the money?

JACK
On the other side of the hill.

JILL
(sighs)
Okay. Let's go.

Jack and Jill climbed up the hill to fetch deMarco's money. Jack fell down and broke his crown...

Moaning, Jack lies in a stupor.

JILL
Jack?
(no response)
Mr. deMarco.

JACK
Who?

JILL
James Bond.

JACK
(thoughtfully)
No.

JILL
Robin Hood.

JACK
No.

Jill takes his hand and guides him over the hill. As they disappear,

JILL (OS)
The King of England.

JACK (OS)
Yes, King George. No, King Edward. No...

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

RUNNING ON RESOLUTIONS - An encore presentation

And the winners are:
NICK - Toni Randall (40%)
AL - Jack Klugman (40%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. RUNNERS' PATH. CENTRAL PARK - DAY

Two MEN are jogging together in Central Park on a freezing January morning.

AL
I should have my head examined for letting
you talk me into running this morning.

NICK
And break last year's resolution? You lost
how many pounds? Five? I lost at least ten.

And since I stopped smoking the year before,
my doctor says my lungs are clean as a whistle.

And when I started eating a low-fat diet the
year before that, my cholesterol is as low as
my low-rise underwear.

And since I promised to help around the
house, my wife is one happy camper,
especially in the bedroom.

Al rolls his eyes.

NICK
And how about the year we started our
business. I vowed I'd stop complaining
about your three-hour lunches, and
your endless long-distance calls, and
your so-called business write-offs...
more like expensive gifts to Liz,
Sandra, Connie, and God only knows
who else.

AL
Have you decided on this year's
resolution yet?

NICK
You know me. If I can't keep it, I won't
make it. Why? You have any ideas?

AL
Yeah. A vow of silence.

Their VOICES fade out...

NICK
You know I can't do that. How else can
I tell you what's on my mind.

AL
What's left of it.

...as they disappear out of view.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Santa in Training - An encore presentation

INT. LIVING ROOM. HOME - CHRISTMAS EVE

Sitting on a recliner in a sparsely decorated living room, a MAN is on the telephone.

MAN
Okay, mom, see you and Josh tomorrow. Night.

After hanging up, he rests his head on the back of the recliner and shuts his eyes. A CRASH from the unlit fireplace causes him to jump. A clump of red, covered in soot, lands onto the cold, stone hearth.

MAN
Who's there?

Brushing herself off, a WOMAN dressed in a Santa suit turns to him.

WOMAN
I'm so sorry. I'm new at this.

MAN
Stay where you are or I'll call...

WOMAN
Please. Don't call Santa.

Confused, the man stares at her.

WOMAN
You see, I'm a Santa in training. And I might lose my job if...

MAN
You're a Santa in training?

WOMAN
Santa is so busy. He needs all the help he can get.
(self-consciously)
I have your present.
(looking up the chimney)
It seems, it's still on your roof though.

MAN
(laughing)
I've had too much wine!

Suppressing her attraction to him, she extends her hand, business-like but warmly.

WOMAN
It's Laurie.

MAN
Simon.
(a moment of awkward silence)
Would you care for a glass of wine?

The grandfather clock STRIKES midnight.

LAURIE
Thanks, Simon, but I can't. I'm late as it is.
I have so many presents to deliver.

SIMON
C'mon, Laurie. We both know there's no such thing as Santa.

LAURIE
(aghast)
No such thing as Santa? I'm getting your present right now.
Maybe then you'll believe me.

Simon shakes his head as the front door SLAMS. He hears mumbled CONVERSATION on the lawn.

EXT. HOUSE - CHRISTMAS DAY

LAURIE
(to nearing neighbor)
My reindeer are gone! I need to get to the roof!

The neighbor looks at her queerly.

NEIGHBOR
Why?

LAURIE
Do you have a ladder?

NEIGHBOR
(scratching his head)
I'll be right back!

When he returns, the neighbor sets the ladder onto the side of the house. It steady, Laurie climbs to the roof. She searches her sack, finds Simon's present, then climbs down.

LAURIE
(to neighbor)
Thank you so very much for your help. Merry Christmas!

NEIGHBOR
Merry Christmas.

Laurie then rushes into Simon's house.

INT. LIVING ROOM - CHRISTMAS DAY

As she hands him his present,

LAURIE
Merry Christmas, Simon.

Self-consciously he gropes for it. She understands.

LAURIE
(gently)
I'll read the card.

SIMON
Fine.

LAURIE
Merry Christmas, Simon. Enclosed is a check for
the eye surgery. I know it will be a success. Santa

Simon buries his head in his hands; Laurie kneeling before him.

LAURIE
If you'd like, I'll go with you.

Simon finds, then clasps Laurie's hand, a grateful tear trickling down his cheek.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Merry Christmas!

A POCKET FULL OF MIRACLES - An Encore Presentation

FADE IN:

EXT. MACY'S DEPARTMENT STORE. MANHATTAN - DAY

On a brisk December day, hurrying holiday SHOPPERS rush in and out of Macy's. Near its entrance stands a MAN CALLING OUT to anyone who will listen.

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle here!

PASSERSBY look upon him queerly as he continues to chant.

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle here!

Adjusting his iPod, a TEENAGER stops in curiosity.

TEENAGER
How much?

MAN
It's free.

TEENAGER
(sarcastically)
Nothing's free.

Then walks away. Untethered,

MAN
A pocket full of miracles! Get your miracle!

A young COUPLE stops and exchanges glances.

WOMAN
What kind of miracles?

MAN
You name it.

WOMAN
My boyfriend and I want to get married but
we can't afford a ring.

As her boyfriend tugs at her arm, the man searches for and pulls from his pocket a brilliant engagement ring. He hands it to the woman who excitedly shows it to her boyfriend.

BOYFRIEND
How much does it cost?

MAN
Nothing.

BOYFRIEND
It's a fake. Let's go.

As they walk away, the woman gleans the ring then smiles at the man appreciatively.

A hunched OLD MAN steps out of the crowds and faces the miracle man.

OLD MAN
I bet you don't have anything in your pocket for me.

MIRACLE MAN
Try me.

OLD MAN
I remember when I was twenty. I was as strong
as Hercules. Played lots of sports too.

The miracle man listens patiently.

OLD MAN
My wife was my biggest fan. We were high school
sweethearts.

Not saying a word, the man begins walking; the old man in step beside him.

OLD MAN
We were married over fifty years.
(quietly)
She died last year.

MIRACLE MAN
I'm very sorry.

As they continue to walk together,

OLD MAN
I live around the corner. Would you join me
for dinner?

MIRACLE MAN
I'd be honored.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE SPIRIT OF THANKSGIVING - An Encore Presentation

And the winners are:
Massasoit - Russell Means (37%)
Dorah - Sissy Spacek (57%)
Luther - Tie between Gary Cooper and Daniel-Day Lewis (28%)
Daughter - Kate Hudson (28%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. LOG CABIN. PLYMOUTH, MASSACHUSETTS - THANKSGIVING DAY

A FAMILY of six are gathered around the dining table adorned with the cornucopia of Thanksgiving dinner.

Anticipant as the grandfather clock CHIMES three o'clock,

MOTHER
He'll be here.

FATHER
He's late, Dorah.

DORAH
We won't start without him, Luther.

LUTHER
(firmly)
He'd be the first to understand.

As Luther begins carving the turkey, Dorah lets out a SIGH. Their DAUGHTER clasps her hand reassuringly.

DAUGHTER
He's been here every Thanksgiving, dad.

Luther stops carving with the KNOCK at the door.

GRANDSON
He's here!

He and his sister run out of the dining room and return holding the hands of Native American, MASSASOIT.

All surround him excitedly and guide him to his place at the table.

GRANDDAUGHTER
We saved your chair, Great Sachem.

Massasoit nods, smiling. As he sits, he retrieves the ceremonial pipe from his pouch, then lights it. After inhaling, he passes it to Luther who then passes it to Dorah. She respectfully inhales and returns it to Massasoit.

After snuffing the pipe, Massasoit sets it adjacent to his place setting. Ritualistically, each extends and holds the other's hand, heads bowed.

DORAH
We give thanks today for Your eternal bounty.

ALL
(in unison)
Amen.

MASSASOIT
Aho.

FADE TO BLACK

Happy Thanksgiving!

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

THE HUNCHBACK OF HOLLYWOOD -- An encore presentation

And the winners are:
Quasimodo (Before) - Danny DeVito (37%)
Quasimodo (After) - Hugh Jackman (37%)
Phoebus - Richard Chamberlain (55%)
Esmeralda - Penelope Cruz (50%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

Ext. Square Outside Notre Dame Cathedral. Medieval Paris - Day

QUASIMODO, Notre Dame's disfigured bell ringer, is sentenced for disturbing the peace and abducting, ESMERALDA, the gypsy dancer. He is shackled to the pillory where he is flogged and exposed for an hour to public disgrace.

Despite the stifling heat, throngs gather to gawk at the Hunchback's demise. His head bowed, Esmeralda looks on, pitying him. Quasimodo slowly raises his head and peers into the crowd.

QUASIMODO
(cries out)
Water.

CROWD
(mimics)
Water.

QUASIMODO
(emphatically)
Water!

CROWD
(laughs)
Water!

All are silenced as Esmeralda walks up the stairs to the pillory and offers the Hunchback water from her pouch. He turns aways, embarrasssed of his ugliness in the light of her beauty.

She patiently allows water to moisten his parched lips. Remembering his thirst, he bends back, mouth opened, and guzzles the remaining water, then collapses.

PHOEBUS, Captain of the King's Archery, rides through the crowd and up to the pillory. He dismounts, joins Esmeralda, then turns to face the people.

PHOEBUS
Have your last stare at this poor creature for he will
no longer be deformed. I, Phoebus de Chateaupers,
will perform a miracle.

When Quasimodo is released, Phoebus escorts him into the cathedral; the crowd on their heels.

INT. NOTRE DAME - DAY

PHOEBUS
(swaggering)
I've been hired, my dear disfigured man, by Nip/Tuck.
It seems they believe I can perform wonders with my
dagger and sword. Let's prove them right, shall we?

Quasimodo blinks, perplexed. After hours of grueling nipping and tucking, Phoebus steps back to admire his accomplishment.

PHOEBUS
Voila! Magnifique! You shall no longer suffer such
humiliation!

EXT. NOTRE DAME - NIGHT

As they walk down the cathedral's steps, the crowd rushes towards them and GASPS.

PHOEBUS
My friends, I give you the new and improved Quasimodo!

Slender, handsome, and erect, Quasimodo steps forward. Esmeralda immediately joins him while the people gape.

QUASIMODO
How can I ever repay you, Phoebus, and Nip/Tuck.
And, here's to my beautiful bride-to-be, Esmeralda.

Turning to her,

PHOEBUS
Marrying Quasimodo?

ESMERALDA
After the prenup, of course!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/