GRAB SOME POPCORN, RELAX, AND ENJOY THE SHOW!

Friday, September 26, 2008

The Longest Date

And the winners are:
Mary - Meg Ryan (57%)
Harry - Bill Murray (42%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

EXT. BOARDWALK. ATLANTIC CITY. NEW JERSEY - DAY

On a brisk, September day, a COUPLE on their first date are sitting on a bench watching the waves roll in; each attempting to break the awkward silence.

HARRY
So...

MARY
Did you know Atlantic City's boardwalk is the longest in the world?

HARRY
Yeah. It's beautiful, isn't it?
(turns to Mary)
Can you guess the state with the longest name?

MARY
What is it?

HARRY
Rhode Island.

MARY
(grins)
The smallest state has the longest name?

HARRY
Yep. Its official name is the State of Rhode Island
of Providence Plantations.

MARY
How about the longest movie title?

HARRY
(enjoying the banter)
I give up.

MARY
Night of the Day of Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return
of the Revenge of the Terror of the attack of the Evil, Mutant,
Alien, Flesh-Eating, Hellbound Zombified Living Dead Part 2:
In shocking 2-D.

HARRY
Wow!

Suddenly, a wave washes a huge object ashore. Nearly everyone on the boardwalk rush to the shoreline, craning their necks to get a glimpse.

HARRY
It looks like a fish of some kind.

MARY
Yes, it's the humahumanukUnakuapuaa.

HARRY
(laughing)
Right. You're a brilliant marine biologist.

MARY
(smiling)
All this bantering has made me hungry.

HARRY
(rises, extends his hand)
I know the perfect spot. But I can't resist.
Pink Floyd has the coolest, longest song title.

Mary shakes her head agreeably as they walk along the boardwalk towards the parking lot.

HARRY
Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together
in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict'.

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY

In the lot, one car takes up five parking spots.

HARRY
Unbelievable. A Duesenberg!

MARY
Yes, the longest Duesenberg ever made.

HARRY
How did you know?

MARY
It's a loaner from the museum. I admit, it's a bit over the top.
(tenderly)
But you're worth it.

Smitten, he rests on the opened car door.

HARRY
Let's make this our longest date, Mary.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Friday, September 19, 2008

GODIVAS

And the winners are:
Lady Godiva - Nicole Kidman (28%)
Cocoa Chanel - Leslie Caron (41%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. MILLINERY SHOP. EARLY 1900's PARIS - DAY

In the workroom of her shop, COCOA CHANEL painstakingly creates an evening gown by hand; each stitch a labor of love. Her ASSISTANT appears.

ASSISTANT
A very important patron is here to see you.

Cocoa abandons the gown to tend to this mysterious patron. As she approaches a lovely NOBLEWOMAN,

COCOA
Ah, Madam Godiva. Bonjour. How may I assist you?

LADY GODIVA
(fully clothed)
Bonjour Cocoa. I need something very different for a special occasion.

COCOA
Of course. What is the occasion? A ball, the theatre...

LADY GODIVA
I'm to ride on a horse naked through the marketplace of my realm...
for a very worthy cause of course.

COCOA
(taken aback)
To be naked, it must be.

LADY GODIVA
Isn't it wicked?

COCOA
(shakes her head)
But Madam, I clothe, not unclothe.

LADY GODIVA
There must be something you can do.

Cocoa ponders her dilemma earnestly and sincerely. Her glance falls on a stack of pretty boxes. She rushes to the stack, scoops up a box, then returns.

COCOA
May I make a suggestion?

LADY GODIVA
Yes, of course.

COCOA
Give these to the people as you ride passed. You will have pleased those you shock.

LADY GODIVA
(perplexed)
With chocolates?

COCOA
Godivas, Madam. You will be the crown jewel.

LADY GODIVA
Yes, I see. I shall be as tempting as chocolate.

COCOA
Champagne to celebrate?

LADY GODIVA
Thank you.

As they sip champagne and share another box of Godivas,

COCOA
Madam, may I ask? What is this cause?

LADY GODIVA
To lower my people's taxes.

COCOA
(nods)
A very noble cause. But why naked?

LADY GODIVA
It was my husband's idea. He said he would lower them if I rode...

COCOA
Your husband.
(reaches behind her)
Here's another box of Godivas, just for him.

FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Friday, September 12, 2008

Where's Nessy?

And the winners are:
Nestor - Marty Feldman (37%)
Skip - Sean Connery (52%)
Jane - Kate Winslet (41%)
Mermaid - Uma Thurman (58%)
Thank you for voting!


FADE IN:

EXT. DOCK. LOCH NESS - DAY

A MAN, dressed in full scuba gear, runs toward the end of the dock.

As he watches the bathyscaphe submerge,

NESTOR
Wait! Wait!
(catches breath)
I'm only a few minutes late...

He considers his options, adjusts his mask, then jumps into the water.

INT. BATHYSCAPHE - DAY

While the CAPTAIN steers at the navigation porthole, his female CO-PILOT peers through the observation porthole.

JANE
The water's very murky.

SKIP
Jane, the luck I'm feeling today!

CUT TO:

Nestor swims down towards the porthole of the bathyscaphe. Jane blinks at the object swimming towards her.
His face; a water-blown, disfigured image with bulging eyes, peers back at Jane. She GASPS at the sight.

JANE
What is that?

Skip joins Jane. Nestor's head bobs up and down, attempting to communicate they resurface.

SKIP
I've never seen anything like it!
(looks around)
Nestor?

No answer.

SKIP
Nestor, wake up, will you?

Frustrated, Skip disappears upstairs while Jane continues to observe the creature bobbing up and down. Skip returns.

SKIP
He's nowhere to be found!

JANE
Never mind. I think we should catch this thing.

SKIP
Right.

Skip revs the propellor and lowers the towing fair lead. Nestor panics at the sight of the hook and swims away.

The chase is on. Nestor weaves through the Loch like an eel, the bathyscaphe on his tail.

Some time later, exhaustion sets in. Nestor stops swimming, feeling faint. He observes his tank to be low on oxygen. He has no choice but to wait for the bathyscaphe to lead him to the surface.

Suddenly, a bright light engulfs him. A beautiful MERMAID appears.

MERMAID
(sensually)
I'm Nessy.

Nestor faints in her arms.

EXT. LOCH NESS - DAY

The bathyscaphe surfaces. When Jane and Skip appear on the bridge, they're shocked to see Nestor, unconscious, dangling on the hook.

SKIP
Quick! Lower the lead!

They carefully free Nestor, gently set him onto the bridge, and immediately apply CPR.
He stirs, then looks up at Jane and Skip with huge, bulging eyes.

NESTOR
Where's Nessy?

He hears SPLASHES in the water. When he turns, a mermaid is in the distance, diving in and out of the loch.

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

Friday, September 5, 2008

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

And the winners are:
Mr. Buck - George Clooney (35%)
George - George Burns (61%)
Gracie - Gracie Allen (58%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

INT. BLACK JACK TABLE. CASINO - NIGHT

A dashing MAN, cool, calm and collected, gambles and wins thousands of dollars. A crowd of SPECTATORS agape, surround him. A stunning WOMAN stands beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder.

A COCKTAIL WAITRESS appears.

WAITRESS
A drink, sir?

MR. BUCK
(without looking up)
A martini...shaken, not stirred.

She nods, disappears passed the crowds. A SENIOR COUPLE appears, breaking the wall of spectators to their surprise. The DEALER and Mr. Buck remain poker-faced.

GRACIE
I would love that chicken dinner special, George.
Five dollars just for tonight.

GEORGE
And you shall have it, Gracie.

The waitress returns.

WAITRESS
Here you are, sir. A martini...shaken, not stirred.

Mr. Buck hands her a one-hundred dollar chip.

GEORGE
That sounds good.
(waving to the waitress)
Can I get one of those?

The waitress nods, disappears.

GRACIE
Good luck, George.

GEORGE
Thank ya, darlin.

DEALER
Place your bets.

As George places his twenty dollar chip, Mr. Buck moves towers of chips worth thousands into the betting circle.

GRACIE
Look, George. Aren't the colors pretty?

The crowd GIGGLES; Mr. Buck sips his martini.

The dealer deals Mr. Buck a Jack of Hearts; George, a King of Clubs; and, himself, a hole card. He then deals Mr. Buck a Ten of Diamonds; George, an Ace of Spades; and, himself, a Nine of Hearts facing up. Mr. Buck's jaw drops as he glares at George.

CROWD
Ooooh.

The dealer reveals his hole card...an Eight of Spades.

CROWD
(in unison)
21! Winner winner, chicken dinner!

As they pat George on the back, he looks perplexed.

GRACIE
(embracing him)
You won, George! You won!

As the dealer pushes George's winning chips towards him, Mr. Buck clutches his martini glass so tight, it breaks. He then collapses forward onto the table.

DEALER
Mr. Buck?

MR. BUCK
I lost everything...my Maserati, my villa, my stocks.
Everything. Even my girl just left.
(his head buried in his hands)
What am I going to do?

GRACIE
(sympathetically)
Would a chicken dinner help?

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/