And the winners are:
Bondie - Clint Eastwood (55%)
Tuco - Lee Van Cleef (33%)
Skeleton's V/O - Jack Nicholson (44%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
EXT. SAD HILL CEMETARY. LATE 1860's - NIGHT
BLONDIE, a subdued bounty hunter, and his partner, TUCO, have been riding for hours in search of gold purportedly buried at Sad Hill Cemetary.
Visibility is blinding in the storm-ridden night; clouds weighing heavily under the stars and over their heads.
BLONDIE
Here's as good as any to set up camp.
They dismount and gather their sleeping gear from the rear of their horses. Tuco spreads their blankets while Blondie builds the fire. As it grows, it illuminates an encircled cemetary just a few hundred feet away. Tuco's eyes widen at the sight. He grows uncomfortable.
TUCO
Did you hear that?
BLONDIE
Hear what?
TUCO
Listen.
Blondie stops stirring the pan of beans. Nothing.
BLONDIE
(irritated)
Get the bread.
Tuco reaches for his pack, then hears a MOAN.
TUCO
You didn't hear that?
BLONDIE
You're gettin' on my nerves. Go on, eat.
Bolts of lightening flash across the sky causing Tuco more uneasiness as he reaches for his gun.
BLONDIE
If you don't cut it out, I'll slug you one.
Tuco glares at Blondie, then stands, squinting into the fog. He takes a few steps; disappears. Blondie quickly rises, drawing his gun.
BLONDIE
I said, cut it out.
(silence)
I ain't kiddin'.
It begins to pour.
PHANTOM
He ain't comin' back.
Blondie turns in every direction, gun cocked.
BLONDIE
Who's there?
PHANTOM
Your reward.
BLONDIE
Reward?
PHANTOM
I'll give you three clues.
Blondie steps cautiously to his horse as the Phantom's voice grows louder, nearer.
PHANTOM
One. My first name is Arch.
Two. My last name is Stanton.
Three...
Solving the riddle in a flash,
BLONDIE
Where's the gold?
Face-to-face with the skeleton of Arch Stanton,
SKELETON
(laughing maniacally)
There ain't no gold.
As he retreats,
BLONDIE
What do you want?
SKELETON
(seriously)
A part.
BLONDIE
A part?
SKELETON
(grimaces)
I always wanted to be an actor.
As it throws its arm around Blondie's shoulder,
SKELETON
You think Clint's got anything for me?
FADE TO BLACK
Happy Halloween!
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
COLUMBUS MEETS JACK SPARROW -- An Encore Presentation
And the winners are:
Christopher Columbus - Antonio Banderas (33%)
Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp (73%)
Davey Jones - Tie between Peter Lorre & Lon Chaney (28%)
Teacher - Reese Witherspoon (35%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS. SANTA MARIA - DAY
In his quarters, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS furiously makes notes after studying compass readings and maps. His PILOT, Sancho, enters.
SANCHO
You are needed on deck, Capitain.
COLUMBUS
What is it?
SANCHO
A ship is on the horizon.
EXT. DECK. SANTA MARIA - DAY
Studying the ship's black hull and sails,
COLUMBUS
It's Sparrow.
SANCHO
Here? Should we stand ready for battle?
COLUMBUS
No. We'll negotiate.
As the Santa Maria and the Black Pearl grow within hearing distance of each other,
COLUMBUS
What brings you to these parts, Sparrow?
SPARROW
The same as you, Columbus. Spices, silk,
a short cut to the Indies.
The ships are now parallel; Columbus and Sparrow face-to-face.
COLUMBUS
You'll never find it, Sparrow.
SPARROW
No?
Columbus remains steadfast as Sparrow gestures to his pilot who disappears, then
reappears moments later with ISLAND NATIVES and a chest of booty.
COLUMBUS
Where did you find them?
SPARROW
That is for me to know and for you
to find out.
COLUMBUS
Buffoon.
SPARROW
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Sparrow jumps onto a mast, then down to the steering wheel, speeding ahead.
COLUMBUS
(to Sancho)
Remain on course.
When land is sighted, Columbus' CREW notices a fiery glow and billowing smoke; the Black Pearl uneasy in the water.
COLUMBUS
Get ready to dock.
EXT. ISLAND - NIGHT
The Santa Maria rests adjacent to the Black Pearl. As its crew climbs down, Sparrow and his men are eating fish on leaves, fraternizing with the Natives, and worse for drink.
Columbus steps up to Sparrow who salutes him.
COLUMBUS
Let's get back onboard, Sancho.
Sparrow fumbles to his feet, ordering his men.
SPARROW
Get up you bungling idiots!
The Black Pearl remains on Santa Maria's hull. When Columbus sights land, he jumps overboard, swims to shore, then collapses.
As Sparrow is about to do the same, DAVY JONES emerges from the water.
SPARROW
Not now, Davy.
DAVY
We have lots to talk about, Sparrow.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A TEACHER stands before a classroom of engrossed ten-year olds.
TEACHER
So children, without Davy Jones' help, Columbus
may not have discovered the Caribbean Islands.
A GIRL raises her hand.
TEACHER
Yes, Jane.
JANE
(sobbing)
But what happened to Johnny Depp?
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
Christopher Columbus - Antonio Banderas (33%)
Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp (73%)
Davey Jones - Tie between Peter Lorre & Lon Chaney (28%)
Teacher - Reese Witherspoon (35%)
Thank you for voting!
FADE IN:
INT. CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS. SANTA MARIA - DAY
In his quarters, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS furiously makes notes after studying compass readings and maps. His PILOT, Sancho, enters.
SANCHO
You are needed on deck, Capitain.
COLUMBUS
What is it?
SANCHO
A ship is on the horizon.
EXT. DECK. SANTA MARIA - DAY
Studying the ship's black hull and sails,
COLUMBUS
It's Sparrow.
SANCHO
Here? Should we stand ready for battle?
COLUMBUS
No. We'll negotiate.
As the Santa Maria and the Black Pearl grow within hearing distance of each other,
COLUMBUS
What brings you to these parts, Sparrow?
SPARROW
The same as you, Columbus. Spices, silk,
a short cut to the Indies.
The ships are now parallel; Columbus and Sparrow face-to-face.
COLUMBUS
You'll never find it, Sparrow.
SPARROW
No?
Columbus remains steadfast as Sparrow gestures to his pilot who disappears, then
reappears moments later with ISLAND NATIVES and a chest of booty.
COLUMBUS
Where did you find them?
SPARROW
That is for me to know and for you
to find out.
COLUMBUS
Buffoon.
SPARROW
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Sparrow jumps onto a mast, then down to the steering wheel, speeding ahead.
COLUMBUS
(to Sancho)
Remain on course.
When land is sighted, Columbus' CREW notices a fiery glow and billowing smoke; the Black Pearl uneasy in the water.
COLUMBUS
Get ready to dock.
EXT. ISLAND - NIGHT
The Santa Maria rests adjacent to the Black Pearl. As its crew climbs down, Sparrow and his men are eating fish on leaves, fraternizing with the Natives, and worse for drink.
Columbus steps up to Sparrow who salutes him.
COLUMBUS
Let's get back onboard, Sancho.
Sparrow fumbles to his feet, ordering his men.
SPARROW
Get up you bungling idiots!
The Black Pearl remains on Santa Maria's hull. When Columbus sights land, he jumps overboard, swims to shore, then collapses.
As Sparrow is about to do the same, DAVY JONES emerges from the water.
SPARROW
Not now, Davy.
DAVY
We have lots to talk about, Sparrow.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
A TEACHER stands before a classroom of engrossed ten-year olds.
TEACHER
So children, without Davy Jones' help, Columbus
may not have discovered the Caribbean Islands.
A GIRL raises her hand.
TEACHER
Yes, Jane.
JANE
(sobbing)
But what happened to Johnny Depp?
FADE TO BLACK
**written by petra michelle**
http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/
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