GRAB SOME POPCORN, RELAX, AND ENJOY THE SHOW!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

THE HUNCHBACK OF HOLLYWOOD -- An encore presentation

And the winners are:
Quasimodo (Before) - Danny DeVito (37%)
Quasimodo (After) - Hugh Jackman (37%)
Phoebus - Richard Chamberlain (55%)
Esmeralda - Penelope Cruz (50%)
Thank you for voting!

FADE IN:

Ext. Square Outside Notre Dame Cathedral. Medieval Paris - Day

QUASIMODO, Notre Dame's disfigured bell ringer, is sentenced for disturbing the peace and abducting, ESMERALDA, the gypsy dancer. He is shackled to the pillory where he is flogged and exposed for an hour to public disgrace.

Despite the stifling heat, throngs gather to gawk at the Hunchback's demise. His head bowed, Esmeralda looks on, pitying him. Quasimodo slowly raises his head and peers into the crowd.

QUASIMODO
(cries out)
Water.

CROWD
(mimics)
Water.

QUASIMODO
(emphatically)
Water!

CROWD
(laughs)
Water!

All are silenced as Esmeralda walks up the stairs to the pillory and offers the Hunchback water from her pouch. He turns aways, embarrasssed of his ugliness in the light of her beauty.

She patiently allows water to moisten his parched lips. Remembering his thirst, he bends back, mouth opened, and guzzles the remaining water, then collapses.

PHOEBUS, Captain of the King's Archery, rides through the crowd and up to the pillory. He dismounts, joins Esmeralda, then turns to face the people.

PHOEBUS
Have your last stare at this poor creature for he will
no longer be deformed. I, Phoebus de Chateaupers,
will perform a miracle.

When Quasimodo is released, Phoebus escorts him into the cathedral; the crowd on their heels.

INT. NOTRE DAME - DAY

PHOEBUS
(swaggering)
I've been hired, my dear disfigured man, by Nip/Tuck.
It seems they believe I can perform wonders with my
dagger and sword. Let's prove them right, shall we?

Quasimodo blinks, perplexed. After hours of grueling nipping and tucking, Phoebus steps back to admire his accomplishment.

PHOEBUS
Voila! Magnifique! You shall no longer suffer such
humiliation!

EXT. NOTRE DAME - NIGHT

As they walk down the cathedral's steps, the crowd rushes towards them and GASPS.

PHOEBUS
My friends, I give you the new and improved Quasimodo!

Slender, handsome, and erect, Quasimodo steps forward. Esmeralda immediately joins him while the people gape.

QUASIMODO
How can I ever repay you, Phoebus, and Nip/Tuck.
And, here's to my beautiful bride-to-be, Esmeralda.

Turning to her,

PHOEBUS
Marrying Quasimodo?

ESMERALDA
After the prenup, of course!

FADE TO BLACK

**written by petra michelle**

http://petramichelle.blogspot.com/

9 comments:

Ron said...

BRILLIANT, Petra!

LOVED how you combined the past with the present!

(Nip and Tuck)

HA!

And your final lines in your dialogue are always a clever SUPRISE!

Just wanted to let you know I voted for all the actors in this piece. Good selection, my friend!

I also just noticed your slideshow at the top of your sidebar - very cool!

Thanks for sharing yet, another wonderful script!

*I enjoyed my popcorn and twizzlers while reading - tee, hee!

Hope you're having a great Sunday!

Anonymous said...

A prenup? I nearly fell off my chair Petra!

This was so cool! I showed it to my husband. He wants me to tell you that he thinks it's great!

I'm still laughing! K.

Anonymous said...

A prenup? I nearly fell off my chair Petra!

This was so cool! I showed it to my husband. He wants me to tell you that he thinks it's great!

I'm still laughing! K.

i beati said...

always looking for my Quasi

Tipper said...

Petra-you brought the hunchback into modern society-neat!

jay said...

I love the notion of Quasimodo transformed into a handsome stud by a quick (or not so quick) nip and tuck! LOL!

Bravo!

ChaChaneen said...

I just played the Hot Shot movie quiz and got a B... 2 of them I didn't know. That was fun!

Thought I'd come over here and see what you've been writing here lately and WOW, lurve the pre-nup part! ha ha

Hope you are safe and cozy since the storm?!

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

Mama Zen said...

A pre-nup? Of course!